sussman-old Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For The Spurs, It's All About Moral Victories
• How Tim Duncan successfully returns a pair of pants. [Food Court Lunch] • I wasn't expecting a sports joke here. [McSweeney's] • Mitch Williams: "Yo." [The 700 Level] • Nothing beats old timey baseball. [Walkoff Walk] • Sure, Mike Piazza can hit, but he can't slide. [Fire Joe Morgan] • Don't say y...
Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...
Hello, Barber, I Think I'd Like The 'Hobo Antennae' Today
I'm very hesitant to say the soccer season is over, because I know one of Deadspin's readers will chime in and correct me with, "How silly of you ignorant Americans to forget about the Antarctic World Cup, and it's called football, unlike your football, where you don't even use your feet!" And they'...
Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....
At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero
There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of...
It's Delicious, It's Flavorful, It's The Everything Closer
See this everything bagel? No, you can't eat it. After all, it's just on a computer screen, and that would be foolish, even for you. Although your request to take a bite right now lets me know that you, too, believe in the power of the everything bagel. So today we're going to channel that untapped ...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever…...
Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer
Kosuke Fukudome sure has been a nice investment for the Chicago Cubs, hasn't it? And the cultural movement has swept up the north side of Chicago. The transition from Japan to America has been almost seamless (.317 average, .442 on-base percentage) for him, but the fans haven't quite gotten it down ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making your girlfriend more realistic... • 6:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: 76ers at Pistons, Game 1. 8:30 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Hawks at Celtics, Game 1. Known to the highbrow basketball fans as the weekend's denouement. [TNT] • 8:00 p.m. — MLB: Mets at Phillies. Everything New York wan...
White On Black Violence
• Joe Calzaghe beat up Bernard Hopkins last night. [Ring Report] • Sal Paolantonio disses San Francisco defensive backs. [Niners Nation] • Happy Birthday, Mr. Smoot. [Mister Irrelevant] • The Minnesota Wild-Colorado Avalanche playoff game on Versus was bumped in upstate New York by an infomercial fo...
ESPN Wants You To Write Their Eulogy
Picture, in your mind, a world without ESPN. No SportsCenter. No scrolling tickers. No Skip Bayless. Frightening, yes, but we're all adults here, and nothing created out of one's imagination is lethal. Now, take those feelings, and put them into words. Now send them to ESPN, because they'd like to c...
The Hardy Boys Presents: The Missing Alcoholic Content
Reason #267 why San Diego is not in the running to host a Deadspin Pants Party: Their stadium beer doesn't get you drunk enough. A San Diego Union-Tribune EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION revealed that the $8.50 cup of beer — be it Budweiser, Miller, or Miller Lite ... Budweiser!, Miller! Millerliiii-ite ......
"The Red Sword" Didn't Have The Same Kick
Since we're working under a closer-based economy, a lot of stuff is already in progress, so let's not dilly dally. Okay, a little bit of sloth is in order. After all, it is Sunday, and I'm by no means a slave driver. As everyone knows, the slaves drive me! Ah, plantation humor. Oh, crud, there go my...
Getting Shut Out? It's The Latest Fad
Pick up a Tamagotchi and drink your Surge! Join in what everyone else is doing. C'mon, it's fun to lose a little bit of your individuality when, in return, you get a false sense of having a wealth of friends with one shared interest! What did you download from Napster last night? Me, I got the new L...
Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...
About Last Night...
What you missed while getting some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter, and getting some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, making sure it's chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. And some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with...
Tim Duncan, With Emotion AND 3-Point Range
San Antonio won 117-115 in double overtime to take the 1-0 series lead. Timothy Duncan finished with a cool ranch 40 points. Stay tuned for Game 2, when more rarities surface: Shaquille O'Neal makes a 3-point shot. Bruce Bowen helps up the guy he just knocked down. And Steve Nash guards someone....
LeBron Overrated, Rated Over Gilbert Arenas
So the verbal barbs were barbered between Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to christen the Wizards-Cavaliers series, although the counterbarbs by Cleveland were done not in words, but in second-half points. So Cleveland begins with the series lead after with a 93-86 victory in Game 1 of the NBA playo...