Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time

You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly the way it is now, it seems) and write two columns a week ("maybe three," he says. Sure.) and, uh, we dunno, maybe draw little napkins doodles in his spare time.

It's a doozy of a confusing, muddled, insecure entry. It's a job for The Bill Simmons Translator! (after the jump)

Bill: But the majority of my time is going to be spent coming up with stuff for those Page 2 columns and my magazine column, which was the whole reason ESPN brought me back last spring in the first place. Translation: The complete disaster that my time on the Jimmy Kimmel show was had nothing to do with me crawling back ... er ... returning.

Bill: My biggest problem with the Cowbell gimmick other than everyone on the planet has a blog now, so it's lost a little bit of its luster Translation: I don't really pay attention to blogs, unless, of course, you write something about me, in which case, I will write you a 3,000-word email hysterically defending myself.

Bill: The point is, I would have checked this out before I wrote it. And that's the biggest difference between writing a column and writing a blog you miss the little things and the postings are never as good as they should be. Translation: Fortunately, I'm now above such things, even though, uh, everything I write is online. But I'm different.

Bill: If you fell in the habit of checking the page every day to see if something is coming up ... Translation: Like me. Except that's every hour.

More Cowbell [ESPN.com]