Canseco To Unveil His Pitching Wizardry Tonight

Because Jose Canseco is a man who wants to be taken seriously ... because he is a man with pride ... because he once strode with the giants of major league baseball ... he will now take the next logical step in the twilight of his once-great career. He will pitch in the Golden Baseball League All-Star Game. "Canseco will pitch at least one inning in the game at Chico's Nettleton Stadium and also will participate in the pregame home run derby," said his new team, the Long Beach Armada. The game is today. Baseball's premiere steroid narc has also said that he will unveil his knuckleball. We are relieved, as at first we thought this whole thing was going to be a farce.

For those who have been wondering how Canseco has been doing in the minors, he's hitting .333 with two home runs and seven RBI in his past five games. This after having struck out 11 times in his first 13 at-bats. We're not sure if this includes his one-day stint with the San Diego Surf Dawgs. Meanwhile, this paragraph from the Associated Press actually made us chuckle:

Canseco has been getting his arm into pitching shape the past two weeks and could be used in regular season games later in the season.

Since Canseco has pitched a total of one inning in his entire life — a stint which culminated with a season-ending arm injury after 31 pitches — how does he know when his arm is in shape?

Canseco To Pitch In All-Star Game [MSNBC]