Football Page 1736 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome To The Bizarro NFL
Word on the street is that the Green Bay Packers are set to hire San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator Mike McCarthy as the team's new head coach, with an announcement to come maybe later today. This may come as a surprise to, well, anyone who is familiar with the final NFL regular season stan...
He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....
The Tecmo Bowl Playoff Preview
The glory of Tecmo Bowl has been well documented all across this great Interweb, but we're still suckers for it every time. Like most of you, we suspect, we spent a large percentage of our formative years playing Tecmo Bowl; with Timm Rosenbach, Johnny Johnson and J.T. Smith, our Phoenix Cardinals...
Get Your Piping Hot Playoff Tickets
Well, we're just a few days from playoff weekend, so just to remind us why we were wrong to spurn our mother's insistance that we become some sort of banker, we thought we'd check out eBay and see how much the highest-priced tickets are going for. We're only including auctions that have at least ...
Sean Taylor Needs To Practice His Spitting
If you watched last weekend's Redskins-Buccaneers game, you saw Washington safety Sean Taylor ejected for spitting on Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman, and you know when you spit on a Marine who has been known to drive his Hummer into vehicles that contain his wife and child, there will be r...
Vince Young's NFL Ready Throwing Motion
We were sent this a while ago, and it's possible you've already seen it, but we couldn't figure out how to post animated GIFs back then, mainly because we're morons....
The Curse Of Queen City
A beleaguered Cincinnati sports fan, still reeling from Carson Palmer's knee implosion and an ugly first-round playoff exit, implores us to feel his pain by reeling off the succession of brutal injuries to befall the Queen City at the worst possible times. Witness:...
Say It Ain't So, Chad
So you know, Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson — forever known as Our Hero around here — did not get in a fight with his coach Marvin Lewis at halftime of Sunday's loss to the Steelers. Who said he did, you ask?...
New Mexico's Teenage Tough Love
Well, it's almost noon, and hey: Marcus "New Mexico" Vick hasn't gotten arrested yet today. Good for him!...
When The Packers Are Down, Everyone's Down
We're going to be in Green Bay for a wedding this Friday — that's right, it's a wedding ... in the afternoon ... on Friday the 13th ... in Green Bay ... in January — and we were looking at what to do the rest of the time in Green Bay. Guess what? Nada. Wait, there's a couple of Starbucks; they hav...
New Mexico's Busy Fortnight
Apparently, Marcus "New Mexico" Vick thinks he's a rock star ... or Phil Spector....
The Downside Of Faith And Football
When we first started this site, we were wondering the best places to find sources from within teams to dish some dirt. We figured beat reporters, sports information guys, groupies, so on. But one friend told us: "Team chaplains. Those guys know everything. Might be tough to get them to talk, thou...
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts Of Life
We don't know about you, but when we want the latest in online sports interviews, we brush right past ESPN.com and The Sporting News and head over to The 700 Club. Yep, Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network has a sports section, which includes inspirational tales from the NFL, Major Leagu...
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
Joe Paterno's Slip Of Tongue (Ugh)
It's a nice time to know Penn State coach Joe Paterno ... unless you're a woman, says the National Organization of Women. The organization has taken issue with Paterno's comments about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who was accused of rape in a Florida hotel room. Here's what JoePa said:...
The NFL Says Goodbye To Its Boner Pills
In a tragic day for that assuredly small crossover of "sports fans" and "people who take pills in order to get erections," the NFL has decided to discontinue its relationship with erectile dysfunction drugs, citing "growing concerns about increasingly risqu creative in the category." (We think tha...
Playoff Predictions Roundup: We Suck
As we giggle over this photo of Jeremy Shockey — honestly, all this picture needs is that sad "Peanuts" music playing in the background, like on that episode of "Arrested Development" — we thought we'd look at our panel of "experts" did in their wild-card weekend picks. Needless to say, when we sa...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Marcus Vick Experience Shut Down For Safety Reasons
I share the view held by the Wizard of Odds that former Virginia Tech QB Marcus Vick's lack of remorse, or even any kind of acknowledgement of wrongdoing, is a little troubling. "It's not a big deal," he says....
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...