Football Page 1737 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....
Playoff Pants Party: Panthers Vs. Giants
We think Tom Coughlin freaks us out a little bit. In our nightmares, when we've done something vaguely wrong that we don't understand but know that it was terrible, Coughlin's the type of guy who shows up in our dreams, screaming at us, like the drill sergeant gym teacher in "Beavis & Butthead." ...
Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....
Hey, Saints, We Put Together A Little Dance For You
We don't want to imply that you should have another reason to root for the Redskins this weekend other than Clinton Portis' weekly exploits, but in case you need one, try this: Last week, in the Bucs' win over the Saints, the Raymond James Stadium loudspeakers played The Scorpions' "Rock Me Like A...
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Blogdome: Rose Bowl Edition
What they're saying on the Texas and USC blogs, the morning after ... • Burnt Orange Nation. "We're Number One! I embraced total strangers tonight the way I do my own family, and I came very close to crying tears of joy." • IndieWIRE SXSW. "Horns Win! The city of Austin is alive tonight." • Longho...
Rose Bowl: The Morning After
All right, all right, it's the morning after, and we still can't quite believe that game last night. Some more thoughts as we recover:...
Vince Young Becomes A Legend
We just watched one of the most incredible games we've ever seen, and we certainly hope you did too....
National "Title" Pants Party: Longhorns Vs. Trojans
It so rarely happens that even though we obviously need a playoff, it's pretty much impossible not to get excited about tonight's Rose Bowl BCS "title" game between Southern California and Texas. (We still hope the first quarter goes like this.) Hell, it's so exciting even the President was consi...
Are The Buckeyes In Trouble Again?
We don't want to overstep our bounds here — no, really — but we've been hearing a pretty persistant rumor in recent days concerning the Ohio State football program. If the rumors are true, be on the lookout for potential sanctions against the Buckeyes, with the offenses ranging from taking tests f...
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
Maurice Clarett's Experienced Defense Team
Today's Maurice Clarett update: The "troubled" — that is to say, "known for pretty much everything other than being a football player — posted a $50,000 bond to be released after his charges of aggravated robbery. We'll put aside for a moment how a guy with little discernible income over the last ...
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....
Some 1 A.M. Bowl Goodness
We're never reminded more of just how old we're getting than when we watch college freshmen play sports. Penn State kicker Kevin Kelly, we swear, has to be lying on his birth certificate; there's no way he's older than 12. The poor kid finally erased the chances he'd be a Buckner-type goat by fina...
A Match Made In ... Well, In Detroit
We were marvelling this morning at the potential news: Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions are bringing in former Saints coach Jim Haslett for a job interview. We don't necessarily think that hiring Haslett would bring the Fire Millen crowd much closer to dragging the guy out of his house and having...
Orange Bowl: A Contrast In Coaches
Everyone's making a huge deal about the coaching legends Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden facing off in the Orange Bowl tonight. They're the two winningest coaches in Division I-A history, and they're both still going strong. It's nice when old people do well....