Football Page 1740 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Severe Beating of the Dallas Cowboys
The Redskins are beating the Cowboys in just about every possible way that a team can be beaten. You have to wonder how all of our lives would be different if more of the original cowboy vs. Native American matchups had gone this way in the early history of our nation....
All The Sudden, It's All Colts
I blinked in the 3rd quarter, and all the sudden, the Colts are leading the Chargers 17-16. Dwight Freeney hammered Drew Brees from behind to force a fumble, and Peyton Manning hit Dallas Clark in the endzone to take the lead....
Pittsburgh Leading The Other Relevant Game
The Steelers have a 7-point lead in the only other relevant game being played at 1 o'clock. Ben Roethlisberger scored on a 12-minute 3-yard touchdown run for the Steelers....
Giants Lead Chiefs At The Half
Thanks mainly to a goal-line stop of Larry Johnson, one of the worst defensive efforts you'll ever see by the Chiefs, a turnover late in the half, and a Jay Feely field goal attempt that was evidently influenced by divine intervention, the Giants lead the Chiefs 10-3 at halftime....
The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...
Someone At Fox Loves The Damn Sleigh Bells
Every ten seconds or so in the Patriots/Bucs game, someone at Fox is hitting the button to play some goddamn sleigh bell noise. It's like the producer put his ADD child in charge of the audio for today's broadcast, and the little bastard is pounding the sleigh bell button like he's playing Ten Yar...
Sources Say Reggie Bush Turning Pro
The Los Angeles Daily News is reporting that Reggie Bush will turn pro and is already being advised by Mike Ornstein of Reebok, who also used to work for the Raiders. When pressed to reveal their sources, the Daily News identified them as "pretty much anyone who watches any football whatsoever."...
A Couple Of Naughty Longhorns
Two Texas Longhorns are in trouble, and their timing could be considered poor. The Austin Police Department released a statement last night saying that they were investigating two different criminal incidents involving individuals "involved in the UT athletics program," which sounds like a nice wa...
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...
Honoring Fantasy Football's Greatest
On the list of strange potential tourist attractions, we have to say, the upcoming Fantasy Football Hall of Fame has to be pretty high up there. Football Outsiders has the story of the new venture, which will be based in Pennsauken, N.J. (and we have to say, New Jersey seems like just the place, d...
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...
Clinton Portis' Craziest Costume Yet
Other Clinton Portis costumes have been deep, terrifying glimpses into the most cavernous regions of his soul, a tiny peek at the scary child within, peering out into the world, hoping it's not raining anymore. But this, his most recent one, however, is the most horrifying at all: A monstrous look...
Athlete Run-In: On Call For Antonio
Today's final athlete run-in story comes to us from Madison, Wisc., via comedian Nick Mortensen, and it must be true, because in the first sentence, he confesses he was a cheerleader in high school. It's about former Packer wide receiver Antonio Freeman....
Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy....
Would Rudolph Come Out Early?
A lot of people are getting worked up over Florida high school quarterback Tim Tebow, a fact which, we mentioned earlier, somewhat weirds us out. But when you think about it, is the situation any different from what's going on in the beloved Rankin/Bass Christmas TV production Rudolph the Red-Nose...
Athlete Run-In: The '72 Dolphins Get Even More Desperate
Today's first athlete run-in story is timely because it concerns a retired player on a team that's in the news right now: The 1972 Dolphins. You know, those guys who hang on to being the only undefeated team like they cured polio or something? Kind of a sad group. It therefore didn't surprise us t...
Leinart Responds To Party Photos
As you might have heard yesterday, USC quarterback Matt Leinart was spotted at NYC hotspot Marquee after finishing third in Heisman voting on Saturday night and according to the emailer who sent us the photos, he hit on a Texas woman — described as "one of the nicest people" by one of our commente...
Kyle Orton, A Cop With ATTITUDE
Our affection for Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is well-documented, so we couldn't help but point out this photo, taken last Monday at Crobar in Chicago. (Linebacker Brian Urlacher was there as well, but he doesn't photograph as well, and besides, we don't want to taunt Michael Flatley any more tha...
Matt Leinart's Big Post-Heisman NYC Adventure
We present the above picture, with the following story, without comment, sent anonymously to us this morning....
PETA's Super Bowl Shuffle
According to the New York Post, the fine folks at PETA are putting together an commercial for the Super Bowl that will involved female models "'flashing' the camera, and when they lift their shirt, they will have prosthetic udders over their breasts." Ignoring the fact that this is almost, letter ...