NFL Page 1351 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...
Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...
This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name
Another slightly old bit of news that I wanted to touch on was the Steelers unveiling of a brand new mascot. He's part of the Steelers 75th anniversary celebration, along with some new throwback uniforms....
The Miami Branch Of The Ted Ginn Jr. Fan Club Is Struggling
Sticking with the Brady Quinn theme for a second (I can't help it, he's just so damned handsome), that's a Dolphins fan reacting to the Fish not selecting Brady Quinn yesterday. It's nothing personal, of course, Tedy Ginn....
I Can't Even Picture Tom Brady And Randy Moss Standing Next To Each Other
I don't know if this will turn out to be good news or bad news for those of you who are sick of the New England Patriots being a model franchise. They have, according to Adam Schefter at the NFL Network, agreed to trade for Oakland's Randy Moss....
Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...
PETA Not Particularly Big Fans Of Our Man Vick
Some more blowback from the Ron Mexico dogfighting story from yesterday: PETA is calling for him to be released from the team if the allegations are proven true....
If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...
Michael Vick Likes To Watch Dogs Kill Each Other
You know, as his "career" "progresses," we're starting to realize that Michael Vick's whole Ron Mexico imbroglio is among his least offensive incidents. (Because there's nothing offensive about herpes. Nothing!) It appears that Mr. Mexico has been accused of hosting illegal dog fights at an abandone...
They Just Love The Browns To The Very End
One thing we will never doubt is the intense, eternal devotion of Cleveland Browns "fans." And "eternal" is the key word: Even those about to be executed are woofing it up....
You Just Know Matt Millen's Gonna Pick This Guy
NFL teams preparing for Saturday's NFL Draft have a lot to figure out an individual player. They need to understand his attitude, they have to make sure he's not gonna get arrested a week after they draft him, they make certain he will fit into the team mindset they have patterned for their franchis...
Roger Goodell Is Judge, Jury And Executioner
Sure, we all laughed when Pac Man Jones was suspended by the NFL for a year, because it's Pac Man Jones, and everything Pac Man Jones does is funny. But CBS Sportsline's Clay Travis points out that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was positively Orwellian in his sentence. After all, Pac Man is essenti...
From The Desk Of Norby (Norby!) Williamson
Because network press releases can sometimes be difficult to read, Burnt Orange Nation does us all a favor and makes "a few minor edits" to ESPN's recent announcement of its NFL draft coverage....
Nothing Says Quaint And Quiet Like 200 Pounds Of Camera Equipment
Saturday is the NFL Draft — they sneak up on you, really — and one guy who won't be there is Wisconsin offensive tackle Joe Thomas, who says he has a previously scheduled fishing trip and can't miss it. No problem, says The NFL Network: We'll just bring a camera out to the lake....
Buy Yourself A Piece Of Michael Strahan... Cheap
So rarely do the worlds millionaire athletes and yard sales collide. But, you know, it's not every day that athletes get cleaned out in a divorce quite like Michael Strahan did. And this weekend, at her (formerly his) mansion, Jean Strahan sold a bunch of his shit....
Pacman, Mario Both Deeply Apologize, Sort Of
It's a morning of apologies around the world of the NFL. First off, our main man Pac Man Jones took out a full page ad in The Tennessean saying, you know, sorry about that whole suspension thing....
Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...
What? Football Stars Smoke Pot?
Pro Football Weekly has unearthed a pleasant little nugget from the endless parade of young men flexing in their underwear that is the NFL Draft: Three of the top expected draft picks admitted to smoking pot....
Brian Urlacher Deplenished Of $100 Grand Worth Of Fluid
OK, so we'll say it: We don't find Gatorade the slightest bit replenishing. We think it mostly tastes like urine distilled through a coffee machine, but that's less to the point; when we work out, the last thing we want is a sugary thick beverage. We're working out to lose calories; why would we wan...
From Bengals Linebacker To 15-Year-Old Boy
With all the rigmarole surrounding today's Cincinnati Bengals, it's vital to remember that Bengals of the past weren't necessarily princes either. Or, more to the point, their wives are still out there, causing some trouble, sleeping with 15-year-olds. (Via Pro Football Talk.)...