NFL Page 1387 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Get Yourself Fired, In Two Seconds
Yesterday, St. Louis sports radio station KTRS fired host Dave Linehan after he used a racial slur to describe Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. The mistake was accidental, but the station felt it had to fire him. We, uh, kind of hate racial slurs around here, but we feel obliged to repeat the ...
What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...
Get Your T.O. Slice Of Funk
The official Terrell Owens Web site has been playing an odd game of hide-and-seek with its T.O. Cowboys rap. One minute it's on the site, the next minute it's off. We don't know what its deal is....
One Last Draft Handshake For Tagliabue
As had been expected, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue announced his retirement this afternoon, effective this July. Tagliabue has been on the job for 15 years, and, while not exactly having the mob boss persona of David Stern or the dopey, semi-clueless car salesman vibe of Bud Selig, has still be...
They Grow Their Quarterbacks Big Down There
We know that everyone is excited about Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler, whom some project being drafted ahead of Texas' Vince Young and possibly even USC's Matt Leinart....
Terrell Owens Can Rap Quicker Than You
In recent months, we have done everything in our power to institute a moratorium on Terrell Owens-related news, if just so that, if we were hit by a bus tomorrow, we would be able to talk to our maker with our pure heart, free of egregious sin....
Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins....
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday
It is tragic when the grandest of epics end with a whimper, but, alas, when we are blessed with the sublime, it is best not to madden one's self with laments of an ultimately unsatisfying climax....
Even Comic Strip Characters Have Had Enough
You know that weird Gil Thorp comic strip, the one that appears to constantly be following a game that never begins or ends and always leaves you anticipating a punch line that doesn't come?...
The NFL Network's Brilliant Idea
On the list of entertaining moves by a network, The NFL Network's decision to pursue Ryan Leaf as an analyst for this year's NFL Draft is a rather brilliant one. We love this idea; bringing back old athletes to provide commentary at the site of their biggest failures/embarrassments....
The Dreary Life Of An NFL Prospect
We find the process of scouting for the NFL Draft completely creepy, just a bunch of balding white men with stopwatches, eyeing 21-year-olds in their underwear....
A Post About Nothing
Absolutely nothing. That's the news coming out of the NFL labor talks. They still don't like each other. They still can't agree. There's still not a lot of hope. I still don't care....
NFL Is (Somewhat) Less Homophobic Than You Think
Remember that scene in Brokeback Mountain, when Jack Twist is having Thanksgiving dinner with his wife's family and they get in a big fight about being manly enough to watch football? (What? You haven't seen Brokeback? Well, it's like the Colts' season, except shorter and with 13 percent fewer au...
Cut The Black Wire
Last night, the Pittsburgh Steelers all gathered at a Loews theater in West Homestead, Penn., to watch on the big screen the DVD of their championship season. Apparently, an Eagles fan found out about it; the whole thing was cancelled after a phoned-in bomb scare....
The Sex Boat Story Will Never Go Away. Awesome.
Is it possible to ever get tired of the Vikings sex boat story? We think it's not. We're pretty sure, actually....
Blah Blah Labor Issues Blah Blah
Sigh. Honestly, we hate doing posts about labor woes. It's not that they're not important; they obviously are. It's just that, as fans, watching prolonged labor strife is like being in the room when everyone's talking about you like you're not there. All the issues being discussed are up for debat...
Dan Snyder's Prayers Have Been Heard
It's looking more and more like the NFL is going to play the 2007 season without a salary cap, which is bad news if you're one of the people who have been enjoying the leaguewide parity over the last few years. We could be headed towards total chaos....
Ricky Williams Appealing Hot Piss Test
Ricky Williams is reportedly appealing his most recent failed drug test, which if proven true, could end his 2006 season for the Miami Dolphins. Williams previous failed tests were for marijuana but, according to the story, the latest failure was for another illegal substance. The ruling on his ap...
The Special Edition That Wasn't There
We've always been curious about what happens to those pre-made shirts that say things like "Houston Astros 2005 World Series Champions" — it turns out this is what happens — but now we have a new question: What about those "special editions" newspapers put together weeks in advance that end up bei...
Man, Tommy Maddox Has Really Let Himself Go
You know, we understand that beards are the big thing in the NFL playoffs right now, but honestly, we had no idea this guy was a starting quarterback in the AFC Championship Game on Sunday. (He's from the World Beard Championships, in case you were wondering.)...