George H.W. Bush Happily Watching From Heaven As Houston Gets XFL Team, Says Dope

In a press conference on Tuesday afternoon, commissioner and chief executive of the XFL Oliver Luck announced the eight cities and venues that would serve as home sites for the league’s inaugural season in 2020: Dallas (Globe Life Park), Houston (TDECU Stadium), Los Angeles (StubHub Center), New York (MetLife Stadium), Seattle (Century Link Field), St. Louis (The Dome at America’s Center), Tampa Bay (Raymond James Stadium), and Washington D.C. (Audi Field).

After each city and stadium was announced, a representative of that city’s team—the names of which have yet to be announced—came out to the podium to say give a few platitudes about the ferocity of their area’s sports fandom or their desire to win a championship. The unquestionable highlight of this process came from Janis Burke, the CEO of the Houston Sports Authority, who decided to try and honor the late former president George H.W. Bush in her mini-speech. She believed that Bush, a noted sports fan, was smiling happily from above as this league announced that Houston was getting another sports team.

Burke must have been mistaken. Nobody but those doomed to the fiery pits of hell could ever possibly care about the XFL.

h/t Tyler