Good News—Your Job Is Closed On Christmas

I just walked by a grocery store with a sign in the window saying they would be open until 6:30 p.m. on Christmas. Funny joke! If you’re an employee there, you should know that’s wrong—everything is closed on Christmas.

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. Everybody knows that.

Christmas is a special day. Nobody works on a day that special. That would make it not special. Use your common sense.

Did your boss tell you to work this Christmas day? Are you supposed to come in and pump gas? Open up the diner for the morning shift? Man the counter at the convenience store? Run the checkout line? Make fast food? Fry up donuts? Sit in a security guard booth? Hang signs for the big holiday sale? Did someone tell you to finish up that report, write some evergreen feature stories, go over that spreadsheet, or be there to answer phones on the day when everyone is getting presents and drinking hot chocolate and celebrating love and good cheer for all mankind?

That was a mistake. You don’t have to work. You’re off that day. You don’t have to go in. Forget it. Stay home and relax.

No need to double check. I checked: that’s Christmas.

And if your boss don’t like it—he can take it up with a man by the name of Old Saint Nick—and his eight tiny reindeer—of fury!