Heels Slip Spartans The Tongue

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•The teams look a little different, but the result was the same; UNC topped Michigan State in a rematch of the national championship. Yes, I know a game this early in the season means nothing, and yes, I know every team remotely worth a damn will have their chance in three months, but god damn, basketball's system is so much better than the BCS.

•Perhaps wary that their top secret disciplinary rules have been leaked, the NHL suspends Alexander Ovechkin two games for his knee-on-knee hit.

•Pacquiao-Mayweather will go down in either Vegas, New Orleans or at the new Cowboys Stadium, and will happen as early as March 13, in order to get it in before Pacquiao runs for Congress in the Philippines. Forget the titles in seven weight classes; Manny is going for wins in the two most corrupt professions on earth!

•Roy Halladay says trade him this offseason, or he won't approve any deals. So let's see: get a couple ML-ready young stars now, or have a season of Doc and only a couple compensatory draft picks in return. I wonder which the Blue Jays will choose? (Note: this is only a sarcastic question because J.P. Ricciardi is no longer in charge).

•In a matchup against his old team, Mike D'Antoni's Knicks lost to the Suns despite apparently scoring more points in a 48-minute span. I don't care what the box score says; the Knicks can't have beaten Phoenix by 27. This has to be a misprint, and I'm not going to be like that "Dewey Defeats Truman" paper.

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Today's a big day for Sportshumans the world over: the 2009 SHOTY tourney begins a little later on. Vote or die.