If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This

The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too?

Here are the lyrics (BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY DOPE!):

now i'm not tryna be rude, but hey Zetterberg I'm feelin you, the way you're doin what u do, reminds me of Adrian Peterson, Thats why i'm makin these songs, tryna let you know my love is strong, you must be a hockey player, the way you're playin hockey

i'll give u that PASS PASS n' give me that SCORE SCORE runnin your hands through my spikes as you skate down the ice while they say on The Score

This is the remix to Zetters, while i'm rockin his sweater, he be scorin them goals, makin them wish they were better, sippin on champagne, won the championship game, this guy is friggin sick, hope you remember his name.

snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe

now its like murder he wrote, once he comes and scores a goal, Octopi all on the floor, while the fans scream for more, Zetters i'm feelin how ur scorin, u will never be borin, You will take that pick, score till 6 in the mornin

i'll give u that PASS PASS n' give me that SCORE SCORE runnin your hands through my spikes as you skate down the ice while they say on The Score

This is the remix to Zetters, while i'm rockin his sweater, he be scorin them goals, makin them wish they were better, sippin on champagne, won the championship game, this guy is friggin sick, hope you remember his name.

snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe snipe

Holy hell, I was already rooting for the Penguins. Now I'm... still rooting for the Penguins, but I'll be forced to do so with this stuck in my head. At least I shall not suffer in solitude. Sorry folks. Weekend daddy projects his anger.