Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Mr. Met joined Twitter today. He was immediately bullied by MLB's horniest mascot, the Royals' Sluggerrr.


Mr. Met laughed that one off, but he's hurting inside. He knows that nobody pulls the ladies like Sluggerrr, that royalty is an unmatchable attraction, and that the Met couple can never have a child via a natural birth because it'll shatter her pelvis coming out.

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