The Jacksonville Jaguars, at 1-0, are off to their best start since the 2011 season, when they opened up with a narrow win over the Tennessee Titans. Jaguars fans, in their euphoria, have rocketed all the way to the Belly-Flopping-Into-A-Vat-Of-Mayonnaise stage of celebration. Observe:
You just don’t want to be, like, the fourth person to belly flop into a vat of mayonnaise. It’s bad enough to be coated in mayo; imagine being covered in mayo and stray body hair and various other effluvia. The worst. The Jaguars host the Titans today—you hate to even imagine the kind of shit those fans might get up to if they find themselves at 2-0 next Sunday.