Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen tends to have a little bit of trouble with the whole "drive, then drink, rather than the other way around" thing. He had three DUI arrests in the span of four years, and he'll miss the first four games this season thanks to an NFL suspension.
Fortunately, this hasn't caused him to lose his sense of humor about the unmitigated hilarity that is drinking and driving. A Chiefs fan recently notched a DUI of his own, and, bless his heart, Jared Allen signed his citation for him.
This is an excellent idea; you should have seen what we had Fred Smoot sign for us.
Jared Allen Has A Great Sense Of Humor [Arrowhead Pride]