Just A Day Of Being Gored On The Beach

Via Sportivo, we present you a good old-fashioned bull goring video. It's tough to get enough of these.

To help understand what happens in this video, we're gonna let Sportivo explain it to us:

Despite being born in Mexico of Spanish ancestry, I despise bullfighting. No, it's not the killing of the bull, per se, but the uneven playing field. Either they start equipping the bulls with motion-sensor-triggered uzis strapped to their horns or they swap the matador's sword with a swiss army knife. But I digress...

The setup for the clip: a sports news show in Mexico (yes, Spain and Latin America cover bullfights in the sports segments) was taping a color piece about eccentric matador Jose de Jesus "El Glison." Besides being one of the most reckless (and most frequently gored) bullfighters in recorded history, "El Glison" is also a colorful character: half rocker, half poet, half surfer, half not good with fractions... You know the type, right? Anyway, he had just written this elegiac poem about the endless battle between man and beast, and thought a nice way to illustrate its narration would be a slow motion, sun drenched montage of a bare chested matador meeting a 1500 pound bull on the beach.

The camera crew procured a secluded beach in Mexico's Pacific coast, enlisted a top cinematographer to shoot the gig and brought over said bull to the spot where "El Glison" would perform the impromptu corrida. It went reasonably well for a while, but then... uh... he thought it would be a good idea to substitute the matador's cape for a SMALL SURFBOARD.

Much wackiness and goriness ensued.

Now, I'm really having trouble finding out what's funnier here: was it the cheesy premise for the video? The poem itself? The camera crew (with the show's anchor in tow) joining the freshly injured bullfighter in the ambulance and interviewing him en route to the hospital? A guy in a Speedo trying to outsmart a bull the size of a VW bug? The fact that the bull's horns missed his femoral artery by half an inch? There's simply too much to process here...

We think it's all pretty great ... just hang in after the first half minute ... and we hope you've eaten.

Sportivo