Locker Page 1348 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Happy Holidays From The Princes
The above holiday card was waiting in our mailbox when we returned to New York from a week back home in Mattoon. A nice gesture, Mr. Prince, and a happy holidays to you as well. We are pleasantly surprised the card was not covered in poo....
The Spurs Hate Mexicans (Or Something Like That)
A one-act play, using only displaced quotes from the police report of the citation Spurs guard Tony Parker received after an incident in San Antonio on Christmas Eve with his girlfriend, "Desperate Housewives" "actress" Eva Longoria....
Raef Lafrentz's Silent Dance
In the mood for some psychedelic hip-hop about the Boston Celtics? Who isn't? It's our lucky day....
Ricky Davis, Man Of Mystery
The Cleveland Plain-Dealer has an entertaining story today about athletes using fake names on the road. They have a fun anecodte about Drew Gooden, but the real fun comes with the sidebar, which lists the fake names some players have used. Some highlights:...
Athlete Run-In: Marcus Fizer's Lack Of Ones
We know we said we were gonna take some time off from the athlete run-ins, but it's the Thursday before Christmas, the wireless here is spotty (but the coffee's surprisingly good) and we want to get home early so we can be made fun of by our uncles for our hair. So here's a bonus athlete run-in st...
Fun With Yahoo Photos
We've all been there. You're at a party, and the big foreign dude who's always banging his head into things has taken a little too many 'shrooms. He's freaking out. He's screaming. "The dragons, man, the dragons, they're EVERYWHERE! I'm sorry, Papa, I'm sorry! Moccasins! Moccasins!"...
Clifford Ray Greases Up For Marine Life
We proudly present perhaps the most bizarre sports story we've come across that didn't involve Fred Smoot....
It's A White Christmas In Sports
The yearly report from SportsBusiness Journal on the 50 Most Powerful People In Sports Business is out, and, like the rest of on-field sports, it's almost all white people! Who can forget that classic Brian Scalabrine-Fred Hoiberg battle last night? Someday one of those guys is gonna dunk!...
How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...
When In Trouble, Go After Magic
In the midst of his take-me-back contrition tour, Indiana Pacers small forward Ron Artest spoke to an Indianapolis radio station on Friday. Artest was asked his thoughts on Magic Johnson's recent comments that Artest didn't deserve a second chance....
Chris Kaman: Even Weirder Than You Think
We've given the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke his fair share of grief, but we must give credit where it is due: His column yesterday on bizarro Clippers center Chris Kaman is pretty outstanding stuff. We might even go so far as to call ourselves tickled....
Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...
Nate Robinson, Naked Shower Jumper
We wouldn't have thought the Knicks locker room would resemble something from "Oz," but hey, when short hopper Nate Robinson is around, one never knows....
Watch Your Back In Park City
On the list of Stories We'd Rather Not Report But Have To Anyway, we point out that Utah Jazz point guard — and University of Illinois legend — Deron Williams was arrested (along with another, more anonymous, rookie) over the weekend for giving false information to police. Apparently, there was a ...
Athlete Run-In: Kirk Hinrich, Gryffindor
Today's second — that is to say, final — athlete run-in story is about a guy we probably misidentified yesterday: Bulls point guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook site is probably not actually this site. But anyway, this story, well, this story might not be true either, but you knew that already. Bu...
Tracking The NBA Death Pool
From the Creepy And Mean Yet Fascinating department comes this entry from upstart NBA blog The Association: The NBA Death Pool. Which NBA player/coach with no business playing/coaching will drop dead at just the wrong moment?...
Mark Cuban Would Like To Help You Wipe
Though this seems like more of a project for those crazy Maloof brothers in Sacramento, we nevertheless support Mavericks owner Mark Cuban's newest venture: An investment in toilet seat company "The Brondell Swash."...
Kirk Hinrich's Facebook Profile
As much fun as we've had already with Facebook photos, we figured we'd find us a college student who could access some solid athlete ones. First up: Bulls guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook photo is exactly what ours would be if we were a professional basketball player: A screenshot of our video ...
Kobe's Four-Year Moratorium On The Word "Sex"
Quote: "My nose is a little crooked, man. I'm normally super, super sexy. I'm just super sexy now." — Kobe Bryant, after being kicked in the face by the Timberwolves' Anthony Carter...
Athlete Run-In: Bill Wennington Should Duck Better
Today's first athlete run-in story involves a member of those famed late '90s Chicago Bulls juggernauts ... Bill Wennington! OK, maybe he's no Scottie Pippen, but hey, anything about that team that doesn't involve Jordan or Rodman gets us fired up. From Chris in Dallas:...