Locker Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Man Lives With His Finger In His Nose
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Consecutive Shots Land In Green-Side Sprinkler Head Divot
The fourth at PGA National in Palm Beach Gardens is hungry for golf balls, as consecutive shots by Tyrrell Hatton and tournament leader Rickie Fowler ended up deposited in a divot housing the green-side sprinkler head....

Gronk Tries To Get 69 Out Of "Monster Girl," Fails
Rob Gronkowski is, for whatever reason, on Fox’s Daytona 500 coverage today, and he’s doing roughly what you’d expect him to be doing. Here he’s talking to a young woman identified as a “Monster girl,” and not quite getting the answer he was going for....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Free Kick Stunner Opens League Cup Final Scoring For Manchester United
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is back to doing Zlatan Ibrahimovic things, as he provided Manchester United a 1-0 lead in today’s League Cup final against Southampton with a free kick of absolute perfection. Give this man the serum that will let him play forever, please....

Deadspin Up All Night: Let The Children Lose It
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....

What A Ricochet
André Ayew’s equalizer for West Ham came after the most fortunate of rebounds....

I Have Conquered The Meaty Cheese Dip
Recently, I had a specific hankering. A hankering for piling delicious meaty cheese dip onto tortilla chips and ramming them into my face. This is the kind of hankering a fundamentally depraved sort of person has when left alone in a home for more than a couple hours: a dark degradation into self-de...

It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
Craig Dawson brought West Brom back equal by carefully exerting mind control over Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels in order to create a wonderfully-bending deflection goal. He should use that superpower more often....

Look At What They Did To My Boy
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NASCAR Truck Race Ends The Way It Started: With Huge Wreck
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a massive wreck at the end of a NASCAR race at Daytona. It happened in tonight’s truck race—the same one that had another Big One right after the first lap....

Sixers Broadcast Roughly As Dysfunctional As Sixers Team
A power blip in Philadelphia tonight left Comcast SportsNet a bit baffled as hosts blathered amongst themselves about what was happening, going almost a full minute before realizing that they were live on the air—teaching us all that The Process is not automated....

NASCAR Trucks Make It Exactly One Lap Before Huge Wreck
Tonight’s NASCAR truck race at Daytona knocked out seven drivers after just one lap in an incident that brought the typical superspeedway mayhem to fans a little earlier than anyone might have expected....
![Kevin Durant And The Warriors Are Fed Up With Shaq's Troll Act [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xjapoanfucvuwjvwibso.jpg)
Kevin Durant And The Warriors Are Fed Up With Shaq's Troll Act [Update]
Shaquille O’Neal and Warriors center JaVale McGee, who are perpetually beefing over McGee’s appearances on Shaqtin’ A Fool, spent the wee hours of the morning arguing on Twitter. This afternoon, the more prominent members of the Warriors came to McGee’s defense, while the team reportedly complained ...

Protesting Sells ... But Who's Buying?
Every reporter has a patter for talking to people in a crowd. I start with a nakedly aggressive challenge—usually questioning or condemning their parentage. Alternatively, if they are bigger than I am, I say “gimme a dollar” and see if they comply. It tells me they’re easily cowed....

Deadspin Up All Night:<em></em> I've Been Waiting Here Forever
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go set the weekend ablaze....

The Price Of Admission To The Panda Habitat Is Your Blood
Some clown in China thought it would be a good idea for him to stroll into a panda habitat and disturb the sleeping bear within it. Unfortunately for this jagoff, his host had only pain to offer as a greeting....

No, Paying NCAA Athletes Won't Cost Them Money
Few things get me as angry as seeing people oppose a reform because of unrealistic concerns about imaginary unforeseen consequences. Pick a problem and propose some way to make it better, and some concern troll will immediately pop out from behind a curtain to say that there is some remote chance of...

The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President. Russia has hacked all of our phones and is actively watching us masturbate. And every public school is going to teach your kids that gay people come from the fucking moon. These are ...