Locker Page 467 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The Fuck High Was This <i>New Yorker</i> Guy When He Wrote This <i>Star Wars</i> Take?
Listen. I am not going to try to unpack and critique the bonkers Rogue One review published by the New Yorker’s Richard Brody today. I do not even know where to begin. I am just going to blockquote some portions down below this paragraph, and I invite you to join me in making halting, inarticulate, ...
James Harden Made A Quiet, Leisurely Meal Out Of The Nets
In last night’s win over the Nets, James Harden dropped a bloated stat line that, by week eight, feels routine: 36 points, 11 assists, 8 rebounds. He served the usual slew of crafty pocket passes, cottony lobs and floaters, crossovers and pull-up threes. If there’s anything worth noting, it’s that h...
What Does The U.S. Department Of Energy Do?
The Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department in the United States government, created in 1977. It is a descendant of—and consolidates the functions of—several predecessor agencies, among them the Energy Research and Development Administration (ERDA), which was itself a descendant of ...
Steaming Mad Luke Walton Curses Out Officials After Ejection
It took fewer than eight minutes for Luke Walton to turn into a profane, suit-wearing Daffy Duck and blow his top tonight at Monty McCutcheon and his officiating crew over a missed call. Walton was infuriated after bit of wrestling from DeMarcus Cousins, and he teed off on McCutcheon for a considera...
Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes<em></em><em></em>
Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of co...
Deadspin Up All Night: Flawless
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m with some flawless bitches because they be mobbin’ pretty....
My Combo Of The Year
It’s time to announce my combo of the year. ...
Nine Elements Of The LeBron <i>SI </i>Cover Meant To Distract You From His Hairline, Ranked
1. Safety pin on the lapel...
Craziest People In New York City Located
You can rent yourself a perfectly spacious one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn or Queens for well under $2,000. Or not!...
Deadspin Up All Night: Cause And Effect
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
Good Job, Good Effort
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Deadspin Up All Night: I Love To Watch Things On TV
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It’s getting cold outside....
DeMarcus Cousins Does Beautiful Impression Of Joakim Noah's Shooting Form
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Joakim Noah’s shooting motion can be awkward as hell, but most basketball players do not acknowledge this truth by mocking it to Noah’s face in the middle of a game. DeMarcus Cousins is not most basketball players:...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Gold Of A Better Life
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tonight’s our holiday party, so if any sports happen, you’re on your own....
This <i>Seinfeld</i> Reboot Sucks
Donald Trump, who will be spending the next four years traveling around the country doing stand-up, took some time today to give his hungry constituents what they crave: good, clean observational humor. ...
This Bear Is Covered In Shit And Pissed
What this video purports to show is a group of Turkish men rescuing a bear. What are they rescuing the poor beast from, you ask? A life of shit and piss....
Why Is HBO Refusing To Deny That <i>Westworld</i>'s Robots Poop?<em></em>
HBO’s Westworld, the haunting tale of what can happen when cowboy sex robots go awry, spent its first season unwrapping many of the mysteries that so captivated its audience—save, that is, the question that has tormented fans most of all. And that’s apparently exactly how HBO wants it....
DeMar DeRozan Dunks Physically On Ricky Rubio And Verbally On Kyle Lowry
Last night, DeMar DeRozan somehow materialized above the rim to turn DeMarre Carroll’s missed layup into Ricky Rubio’s funeral: cowering, hands clamped over head, palpable fear and awe of a more powerful being. As always, it’s nice to watch someone close a sizeable gap and fuck someone’s day up....
Gregg Popovich Still Isn't Happy With His Team's Effort
A few weeks ago, after the San Antonio Spurs nearly coughed up a game to the Dallas Mavericks, Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich unleashed a mini-rant about his team’s “pathetic performance.” After dropping a road game to the Bulls last night, Pop was similarly perturbed....