Locker Page 522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Atlanta Falcons<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
You Puny Millennial Weaklings Disgust Me, A Tough, Sinewy Elder
Via the Washington Post, I have learned of a study by the Journal of Hand Therapy showing that millennial men are a bunch of weak, pampered diaper babies with butter-soft hands and that your puny muscles are no match for my hardened, callused Gen-X gripping power. I am paraphrasing, here. The Journa...
Thiago Da Silva Sets Olympic Pole Vault Record, Dethrones Frenchman
Renaud Lavillenie entered tonight’s pole vault final as the reigning Olympic champion and world record holder. He finished it as a silver medalist, thanks to Brazilian Thiago da Silva setting a new Olympic record of 6.03m in a wild night that featured a lengthy rain delay and malfunctioning equipmen...
Hurling Loser Consoled By Opposing Fan Who Stormed Field To Celebrate
Here’s a nice story from this weekend’s All-Ireland hurling semi-final replay between Kilkenny and Waterford. The latter’s Pauric Mahony had a “free” that could have tied the match for his team in the final minute; instead, it fell just short. Mahony—who had already scored nine points in the match—c...
![Track & Field Suspended After Athletes Unable To Perform Basic Tasks In Downpour [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dztg8ufebzpidgcwkpbd.gif)
Track & Field Suspended After Athletes Unable To Perform Basic Tasks In Downpour [Update]
Olympics organizers suspended tonight’s track & field events while a downpour assaulted Rio, though not before forcing some athletes to compete in the rainstorm....
Deadspin Up All Night: Down To The Bone
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Who can be fresh?...
This Song About Being A Good Fan Is The Best Thing At The Olympics
During breaks at the Olympic venues, they’ve been playing over the PA a peppy, bilingual song to the tune of “We Will Rock You.” It encourages fans to clean up after themselves, not to smoke, not to take flash photography, and to just generally be good, constructive human beings. I co-sign the messa...
Dealing With The Shit That Comes With Celiac Disease
Orange is not the recommended color for shit....
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Detroit Lions<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
Russian Recovers From Being Choked Out, Wins Gold
Russian wrestler Roman Vlasov won his second gold medal in the Greco-Roman competition when he beat Denmark’s Mark Madsen in yesterday’s final round, despite having been choked out in an earlier semifinal....
Donovan Bailey Was Pretty Psyched About A Canadian Winning Bronze In The 100m
Canada hasn’t seen seen the men’s 100m podium at the Olympics since Donovan Bailey rode a world-record 9.84s to gold in 1996. Andre De Grasse ended that drought tonight by placing third—and also ended a drought for Canadian men in Rio, who had yet to win any medals at all. ...
Usain Bolt Remains The Fastest Man Alive
Usain Bolt won tonight’s 100m final, his third Olympic gold in a row in that event, with a time of 9.81 seconds. Runners-up Justin Gatlin and Andre de Grasse looked at the finish like they were running in slow motion....
Wayde Van Niekerk Smashes Michael Johnson's 17-Year-Old 400m Record<em></em>
South African Wayde van Niekerk chopped 15 hundredths of a second off Michael Johnson’s 400m record, set in 1999, en route to a dominating gold medal performance in Rio....
Rabbit Fuckers
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Coutinho Draws Liverpool Level
Liverpool’s star-filled squad struggled with Arsenal’s collection of anonymous jamokes until Philippe Coutinho rocketed home this bender past Petr Cech to draw his side level at the half....
Ancient Barbarians Weren't, Well, Barbarians, Whatever The Movies Say
Your high school or college history instructor probably spent some time on the fall of the Roman Empire. If you remember anything from those hazy days, it was probably something to the effect that the barbarians toppled a declining empire like a particularly destructive toddler going after her Leani...
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Does This Minneapolis TV Station Know How Many Games Are In An NFL Season?
Minneapolis NBC station KARE ran a live poll last night asking viewers to opine how they thought the Vikings’ season would end up. Options ranged from “0-12" to “6-6" to “Super Bowl”:...
We Are All Witnesses
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