Locker Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: SENIOR WEEK MEGA EDITION
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I present to you a list of songs I’ve wanted to DUAN for a minute. And sorry Billy Haisley, there’s no Young Thug or Lil’ B on here:...
Mulleted Weightlifter Passes Out After Hoisting Mighty Weight
Finnish weightlifter Milko Tokola was very excited after successfully clean-and-jerking 175 kilograms today—so excited that he passed out:...
How To Start A New Job At A Company That Just Declared Bankruptcy<em></em>
My first week of work at Gawker Media was a dream: I got some blogs up, enjoyed office snacks while they were still new and fresh to me, enjoyed my coworkers while they were still new and fresh to me, attended one of their swanky book parties, and on the final day of that week, learned that the comp...
How To Be A Flake And Still Have Friends
One of the greatest things about becoming an adult is realizing that, despite what you’ve been led to believe, most things are bad. Parties, hangouts, “chill seshes”—each one worse than the last and far inferior to sitting on a couch in a cocoon of your own filth. You know that now. And thanks to th...
Patrick Reed Would Like You To "Put The Fucking Camera Down"
How is U.S. golfer Patrick Reed’s Olympics going so far? He’s tied for 19th place so far, and seems more than little annoyed at a spectator shooting photos of him. Stay sane, Patty Reed....
Fitness Enthusiasts' Insufferability, Ranked<em></em>
Getting exercise is good, allegedly, and there are good and bad people who enjoy every form of exercise. Some forms of exercise, however, collect far more bad, obnoxious, horrible, insufferable people than others. These are those forms....
Don't Ask About My Pubes, And Other Lessons From Two Famous Redheads
In February of 2015, the Concourse published an article about redheads that has had Jezebel’s Ellie Shechet and Madeleine Davies steamed ever since. They’re using Gawker Media’s Senior Week to finally respond....
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Los Angeles Rams<em></em><i> </i>
Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
Why LeBron James Didn't Sign Another One-Year Deal
Forget the money. The money is always going to be there. The Cavs can give him more money than any other team, and they’re always going to give him the most money they’re allowed to. Which is why he’s previously signed a series of year-to-year deals: to keep pace with the rising cap and earn the tru...
![Here's Simone Manuel's Medal Ceremony, Since NBC Didn't Air It [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qzn4hv22fp7xs4syt0p8.jpg)
Here's Simone Manuel's Medal Ceremony, Since NBC Didn't Air It [Updates]
NBC couldn’t be arsed to show you Simone Manuel’s monumental medal ceremony after becoming the first black American woman to win an individual swimming event, as they felt it was more important to air seven-hour-old footage of Russians doing gymnastics badly. Here, then, is Manuel (with Canadian Pen...
Simone Manuel Becomes First Black American Female Swimmer To Win Individual Gold Medal
Simone Manuel swam a blistering final 50 in tonight’s 100m freestyle to earn a gold medal alongside Canadian Penny Oleksiak, who swam an identical Olympic-record 52.70 in the event. Both surpassed world record-holder Cate Campbell, who led the race after the first 50 meters and ended up missing the ...
CBC Calls Entire Race Confusing Ryan Lochte For Michael Phelps [Update]
Michael Phelps just won his 22nd gold medal by dominating the field—which included his rival and countryman Ryan Lochte—in the 200 individual medley. Viewers in Canada, though, were led to believe Lochte led the race and that Phelps had fallen short. “Finally, he’s going to do it! Ryan Lochte is goi...
Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]
Preseason football is stupid, exhibit #9000: Malcolm Mitchell, the Patriots’ fourth-round wide receiver pick out of Georgia, suffered a really awful-looking elbow injury in the second quarter of New England’s game against the Saints tonight. What a sport!...
Buccaneers' New Kicker, Whom They Took In The Second Round, Misses First Career Extra Point
The Buccaneers traded up to take kicker Roberto Aguayo in the second round, because they suck. Eight minutes into Tampa Bay’s first preseason game tonight against the Eagles, they scored a touchdown—setting up Aguayo’s first professional extra point. Which he missed....
Deadspin Up All Night: It's My Time To Go
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. More Olympics....
Counterpoint: Dying Is (Probably) Okay
My smart colleague George Dvorsky over at Gizmodo published a defense of “radical life extension” this morning. This is a largely pseudo- or quasi-scientific pursuit favored by billionaire parasite Peter Thiel (among others), based upon the idea that, essentially, death is a pathology rather than a ...
BBC Equestrian Announcers Sound Very Horny For Dressage
Yes, yes, BBC dressage announcers were very taken with Charlotte Dujardin’s performance today atop Valegro, which is a horse and not a black market allergy medication. We are not sure if your announcers were wearing pants during this broadcast. It is possible that they were not, or perhaps wished th...
Accept Your Mediocrity (I'm Fine!)<em></em>
There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are a fairly mediocre human being. You can try to rectify some aspects of the situation—exercise or whatever—but there is little you can actually do to outrun your own unremarkableness. (You can’t outrun it because you’re out of shape.)...
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Oakland Raiders<em></em><i> </i>
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....