Locker Page 562 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boca Juniors Keeper Gets Knocked Out, Stays In Match
Boca Juniors keeper Agustín Orion appeared to be knocked out after taking a blow to the head in the first half of his team’s Copa Libertadores match against Cerro Porteño tonight in Buenos Aires, but stayed in the match after several minutes of laying motionless on the pitch....
Deadspin Up All Night: I'm A Earthling In Disguise
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay based....
What A Silent Retreat Is Like For Someone Who Can't Shut Up
Seriously, I can’t shut up. “Loquacious” would be putting it nicely. “Needy, overwhelming persistence” would probably be more accurate. Hell, it’s why I’m a journalist: because I can’t keep myself from expressing every single utterly useless thought that slips into my head. Although I can fend off t...
ESPN Nimrod Brays Like A Donkey About Recruits Who Don't Want To Play For Dickheads
Today’s episode of Outside The Lines took on the recent kerfuffle at Texas A&M, which saw Texas A&M wide receivers coach Aaron Moorehead chasing away recruits by acting like a baby on Twitter. ESPN recruiting analyst Tom Luginbill was brought on the show to give his takes on the situation, and he wa...
James Dolan Wants You To Love His Band
The richest touring musician in the world is being called to the stage for a soundcheck....
NYC Subway Now Overcrowded And Soon, Less Functional
The privilege of getting somewhere quickly and relatively inexpensively has been offset by the price of being wedged between strangers with nothing inanimate to hold onto as the train lurches ahead. New York City subway usage, at 1.763 billion rides last year, has hit its highest point since 1948. I...
The Atlanta Hawks Are Being Whiny Babies
One of the best things about basketball is that it is not baseball. I enjoy both sports equally, but basketball has always had an edge in the not-employing-humorless-dickwads department, which means you rarely ever see NBA players or coaches talking about “class” or “playing the right way.” The Atla...
How To Survive A Vegas Bachelor Party
If you’ve ever been suckered into being a best man, it’s a conversation that’s bound to come up eventually. Your brother/best friend/weird cousin who doesn’t have any close friends outside his World of Warcraft guild has proposed to the love of his life, and, miracle of miracles, she said yes. You n...
Pacers Part Ways With Frank Vogel, Which Is Dumb
Pacers president of basketball operations Larry Bird just held a press conference to announce that the team will not be renewing head coach Frank Vogel’s contract. Bird said the decision came from his belief that the players needed a “new voice,” and called it one of the toughest he’s made....
Texas A&M Assistant's Twitter Rant About Losing One Recruit Chased Away Another (UPDATED)
One of the grossest things in all of sports is big-time college football recruiting: educational institutions groveling and begging high schoolers to attend, adults directing slush funds towards 17-year-olds, college graduates harassing kids on social media to consider their alma mater. And last nig...
How To Be A Radiohead Fan Without Being A Dipshit About It
Radiohead dropped a new single this week called “Burn The Witch” and it’s fucking gold. It sounds like a Smiths song and a Hitchcock film score hopped in bed together. I’ve listened to it twenty times over the past day, and now I’m afraid everyone is out to get me. It’s all of the paranoia of cocain...
Everybody Is In Big Trouble If LeBron Finds His Jumper
There’s not much the Atlanta Hawks can say about the record-setting three-pocalypse the Cavs laid on them last night. Sometimes the ball just won’t stop going in the hoop, and all you can do is turn your palms up, shrug, and move on. What should concern the Hawks, and the rest of the remaining playo...
The Cavs Just Went Scorched Earth On The Poor Hawks
Tonight the Cleveland Cavaliers dropped an unholy beatdown on the hapless Hawks and put them into the toilet to the tune of 25 threes, 123 points, and 55 percent shooting from three. Every non-garbage time player who took a three hit one, and they smashed the NBA records for most threes in a half (1...
J.B. Bickerstaff Would Rather Take A Demotion Than Coach The Rockets Again
After Kevin McHale only lasted 11 games as head coach of the Houston Rockets, J.B. Bickerstaff got to take over the toxic, squabbling squad, who he called a “broken team.” His team bowed out in the first round after a huge Game 5 blowout, and they now have an offseason full of fundamentally importan...
Deadspin Up All Night: Count On Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep on keeping on....
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Owns Kid In One-On-One
This one-on-one game, which Patrick Beverley decided to dominate, is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray blocks the shit out of that kid, but for five minutes straight. ...
Hum While You Eat; Gorillas Do
Maybe you hum a little tune while assembling a sandwich, and maybe even contentedly between good bites. You wouldn’t be the only one on the evolutionary family tree to do so—so do our cousins, the great apes. Specifically, a set of western lowland gorillas in the Republic of Congo. A recently releas...
Report: Former Michigan State Player Keith Appling Brought Two Weapons To Strip Club
Detroit station WXYZ reported on Monday that former Michigan State basketball player Keith Appling had been arrested Sunday night for bringing a loaded rifle to a strip club in Dearborn, Mich. According to a more detailed report from the Detroit Free Press, Appling had a handgun in his car, and a “l...
How To Fly With Young Children
It is a known fact that flight attendants are among the perkiest, cheeriest, bubbliest human beings on the planet. But have you ever wondered why?...