Locker Page 668 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What's The Craziest Thing You've Bought While Drunk?
What do an electronic megaphone, a case of Prosecco, and a “Welcome” sign featuring a pensive chocolate lab (pictured above) have in common? They’re all things I’ve purchased while hammered. Now, let us commiserate: Tell us your most outlandish drunk purchase. ...
Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say horrible, awful, remarkably ignorant things about every team and fanbase. That’s right, fuckos. It’s time once again for the Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, now in convenient Deadcast fo...
DeAndre Jordan Snapchatted Doc Rivers's Son (Not Austin) To Say He Wanted To Return
We know that after agreeing to join the Dallas Mavericks in free agency, DeAndre Jordan had second thoughts and eventually re-signed with the Clippers. What we didn’t know—until now—were the mechanics of how Jordan got back in contact with the Clippers, and they’re even funnier than you could have p...
Deadspin Up All Night: Tell Me You're Listenin'
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Fuck the Patriots. ...
To Hell With Vox's Victorian-Living Idiots
Yesterday, Vox published a first-person essay detailing the anachronistic existence of two insufferably twee hipsters who live as if they were insufferably twee 19th-century urban gentry. Fuck these people....
Baltimore Cops Have Found A New Enemy: Dirt-Bikers
On North Avenue in the Station North Arts district—a midpoint between East and West Baltimore—a wall is affixed with a wheatpaste image of legendary dirt-biker Wheelie Wayne popping his namesake alongside the words, “Pick up a bike, put down a gun.” It’s popular slogan among the 12 O’Clock Boys, a b...
Richard Gere's Homelessness Drama <i>Time Out Of Mind </i>Will Hit You Hard
1. New York City is obviously the central setting of thousands of movies, and, being New York City, it’s adept at serving as whatever backdrop you want it to serve. It can connote romance or menace, limitless possibility or untold decadence, Candyland or the Hellmouth. But, as someone who lived ther...
How To Write A Note For Any Occasion
Writing a thank you note or trying to find the right words to let a friend who just lost his mom know you’re thinking of him is no one’s idea of a good time. But from time to time, most modern men will find themselves in a situation that calls for a handwritten note. ...
There Is Joy In The Work
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....
Deadspin Up All Night: We Are People Who Like To Fly
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. 48 days until the Knicks tipoff....
A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....
And Now, Our Favorite <i>Key & Peele</i> Sketches
For nearly four years, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have been among the best at dishing out incisive racial comedy to a generation that sorely needed it. Whether making lighthearted jabs at pop-culture trends or tackling serious political issues, their sketches were at their best when they we...
Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....
America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...
How To Excel At Tailgating
Football season is all but here, which means that prime Tailgate Season is swiftly descending upon us. As pastimes go, tailgating is great because there’s not much to it. You don’t have to know a lick about football or whatever other sport you’re needlessly drinking in preparation for, and you don’t...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all of the team previews here....