Locker Page 679 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Carmelo Anthony To Knicks Fan: "You Are Stuck With Me, Buddy."
Carmelo Anthony has never been one to shy away from mixing it up with his fans and haters on social media, and his latest response to a rude Instagram commenter is that of a man who is feeling pretty fed up....

Cleancast: Why The Hell Is My Kitchen A Sticky Mess?
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Kristin Appenbrink, a contributing editor at The Kitchn, who joined me to talk about, well, kitchens. Kristin, who is a fellow member of the Order of Clean Peoples, helps me tackle two kitchen-related cleaning questions that very frequ...

Is Tristan Thompson's Threat To Take The Qualifying Offer A Bluff?
Six weeks ago, it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that restricted free agent Tristan Thompson would re-sign a big free agent deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers. He had just come off a good NBA Finals performance, and on the first day of free agency Marc Stein and Brian Windhorst reported that Thom...

Mets Broadcast Booth Can't Stop Giggling About Pasties
Carlos Gonzalez’s eye black led to a complete breakdown in the SNY booth tonight as Gary Cohen, Ron Darling, and Keith Hernandez lost all ability to communicate over the concept of pasties....

Deadspin Up All Night: It's On The Ocean
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay lit....

Chris Farley Is Still Getting The Last Laugh
There’s an obscure 1994 Saturday Night Live sketch called “Pepper Boy” that at least one friend of Chris Farley’s now uses to explain the late comedian’s incredible talent. He didn’t have a huge part in that episode—apparently, he was too busy filming Tommy Boy. The laughs in this particular bit wer...

Classic Man: "Dare A Rowdy, Drunk Friend To Eat A Raw Egg"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week we addressed how to interact with the ladies and dinner parties; today, we’ll tackle dealing with drunk friends....

How To Throw A House Show Without Getting Evicted
Getting bands to play at your house might seem like a hackneyed plot only plausible within the confines of movie-fantasy college parties. But grimy, do-it-yourself house shows hold a key quality that makes them far superior to those ridiculous cinematic ragers, wherein models take shots from ice lug...

My Dad Was The Maxell "Blown Away Guy," Even If I Can't Prove It
When I was little, I was convinced my dad was the Blown Away Guy. I was sure that was my dad’s martini swept up in the audio tempest, my dad’s tie thrashing behind him. The lush-haired guy in that ’80s-dominating ad for Maxell cassettes getting blasted by the music blasting from a pair of JBL speake...

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

<i>True Detective</i> Season Two, In Two Minutes
True Detective’s chaotic, absurd second season wrapped up last night, but if you didn’t watch—or gave up early into the show’s run—we collected the best scenes from the entire season into a neat, two-minute compilation. This is all you really need to know....

<i>True Detective </i>Season Two Lines, Ranked
19. “That’s one off the bucket list. Mexican standoff with actual Mexicans.”...

Deadspin Up All Night: I Promise To Exploit You
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Clowns really aren’t that creepy....

¡Qué Golazo!
Ajax pounded AZ Alkmaar 3-0 today as could probably be expected, led by a brace from Anwar El Ghazi, the first strike of which was this absolute ace....

Chad Barrett Scores Goal In Opening Minute, Injures Self Celebrating
Sounders forward Chad Barrett came off in the second minute due to a hamstring injury suffered while celebrating his goal, scored in the first minute....

Idiot Yankees Fan Throws Back Home Run Ball, Hits Brett Gardner
Brett Gardner took some friendly fire today in the Bronx as a fan attempted to throw back a fourth-inning home run ball off the bat of José Bautista and succeeded in drilling the Yankees outfielder in the back of the skull....

Liverpool Beat Stoke Thanks To Lightning Strike From Coutinho
Philippe Coutinho’s rocket from outside the box proved to be the deciding goal in today’s 1-0 Liverpool win over Stoke, and is more likely than not to hold up as the Premiership’s golazo of the opening week....

Watch Sydney Seau's Tribute To Her Father At His Hall Of Fame Induction
Junior Seau told his daughter Sydney before his death that he wanted her to speak on his behalf if he ever made it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The Hall wasn’t having any of that, though they eventually relented and gave the 21-year-old a few minutes to talk about her dad. She notably doesn’t...

That's Not Right, Gary Thorne
Sometimes we misspeak in the most unfortunate of ways, as Orioles broadcaster Gary Thorne did tonight calling Angels slugger Albert Pujols “retarded.”...