Locker Page 691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
DeAndre Jordan Hurt Chandler Parsons's Feelings. Hurt 'Em Real Bad, Bro.
Nobody was more instrumental to the Mavericks’ courtship of DeAndre Jordan than Chandler Parsons. Dallas’ small forward was attached to Jordan’s hip throughout the free-agency period, reportedly taking the big man out to dinner five nights in a row and wooing him with talk of MVP awards and All-Star...
Fat Guy Touchdown Alert!
It’s always big news in these parts when a Fat Guy scores a touchdown, and it happened tonight in the CFL as Ottawa defensive lineman Zack Evans came away with a ball out of Edmonton’s QB Matt Nichols’s hand and took it 65 yards to the maison. It’s not much consolation for the Redblacks, who are get...
Deadspin Up All Night: Could Have Been A Doctor
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy your night. ...
Scandal-Plagued Kevin Johnson's Fixers Are Just Making Things Worse
Kevin Johnson’s bizarre campaign to carry out a “coup” against the National Conference of Black Mayors, or NCBM, is looking more and more like his Waterloo....
Blazers Offer Enes Kanter The Max, Stick It To The Thunder
After last night, it felt like we’d seen the last of the drama that this year’s NBA free-agency period had to offer. But then the Blazers went and signed Thunder center and restricted free agent Enes Kanter to a max offer sheet, which puts Oklahoma City’s front office in a position where they are so...
Who Has The Best Super-Dick At Comic Con?
The 2015 Comic Con floor is open, which means hundreds of thousands of fans will soon be filing in to talk with comic creators, buy sweet commissioned drawings at Artist’s Alley, and, of course, check out some statues of superheroes wearing skintight costumes that show off their dick bulges. Deadspi...
Lil Wayne Mixtapes, Ranked
For most of the 21st century, you could argue that Lil Wayne was the best rapper on the planet without sounding as insane as he usually did. A Cash Money Records foot soldier in his teens, the New Orleans native slowly morphed from an underground sensation into an unlikely pop superstar best known f...
How Do I Furnish My Adult Apartment?
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where folks can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to h...
All White Everything: The Glorious Badness Of <i>Enter The Ninja </i>
Ninjas tend to wear all black because they want to move around in the dark without being seen, right? Like, that’s the whole point of being a ninja? I’m asking this because the hero of 1981’s Enter the Ninja is a white ninja, in both senses of the word: He’s a Caucasian man who’s become a ninja, and...
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
![Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1333104085409666407.png)
Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]
One of the more hilarious things to come out of the DeAndre Jordan Hostage Crisis of 2015 was the work of always-wrong ESPN doofus/bigot Chris Broussard, a grossly stupid man and bad reporter....
Oh, Canada
Canada settled for a scoreless draw in Gold Cup action against El Salvador in Carson last night, but only because Orlando City striker and #1 MLS overall pick Cyle Larin blew a wide open shot on goal in the first half. What a pity....
The NBA's Salary Cap And Tax Level Just Went Up: Here's What It Means
The NBA announced that the salary cap and tax levels will take a huge jump for the 2015-16 season, increasing by 11% and 10.3% respectively. Here is the full memo:...
It Was A Crazy Night, But DeAndre Jordan Re-Signed With The Clippers
One of the most bizarre free agencies in NBA history is set to draw to a close, and the ending is definitely the weirdest part about it....
Deadspin Up All Night: Make The Sex Cry
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Prayers up!...
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...
21 Session IPAs, Ranked
Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe th...