Locker Page 695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lakers Delete Embarrassing Recruiting Tweets After Other Teams Complain
As part of the effort to lure free agent LaMarcus Aldridge, the Lakers engaged in a frankly embarrassing 12:01 a.m. Twitter recruiting campaign. It doesn’t seem to have worked. Almost a day later, at least four of those tweets have been deleted. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'll Follow You Down
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How To Deal With People Tripping Balls, According To The Grateful Dead
What we have here is a flyer for the security crew on the Grateful Dead reunion show about how to deal with concert-goers who are tripping on acid, which, let’s be honest, is probably most everyone there. Their advice? Don’t feed the animals. Don’t interact with someone having a bad trip. Different ...
<i>Terminator Genisys </i>Is Like A Loud, Lousy, Super-Confusing Cover Band
1. Terminator Genisys seems specifically designed to give you a headache. It’s a reboot, a sequel, a reimagining, and a rehash of the previous Terminator films all churned up and spackled together, a film that conjures up all your memories of those movies only to eradicate them with little explanati...
<i>Magic Mike XXL </i>Wants To Be A Feminist Fantasy, And Almost Succeeds
I was fully prepared for the bulges, for the leather thongs that wagged and bounced with every pelvic thrust from one of Magic Mike XXL’s stripper superheroes. I was ready for the more impromptu gyrations, too, like when Mike uses his rippling arms to drill nails into a workshop table, or when the c...
Laundry School: Getting To Know Your Machines
I’m totally overwhelmed, in the best way possible, by the response to last week’s Laundry School column. I mean, I figured it would be a good thing to do and that you would certainly have questions; I just didn’t expect anywhere near the number of comments, emails, and tweets I got! Holy cow! You re...
DeMarre Carroll Leaves Atlanta For Toronto, Is Getting Paid
DeMarre Carroll has joined Pero Antic as the second former Atlanta Hawk to elect to play on foreign soil for the upcoming season....
How To Set Off Fireworks Without Blowing Yourself Up
Cue up the John Philip Sousa, fire up the grill, and put the American flag on every surface. It’s almost the Fourth of July, so you may be feeling a lot of strong impulses, like the one to set off a bunch of explosives in your own backyard. Go forth, but don’t send yourself to the hospital. That wou...
The Spurs Are Reloading
We’re just a few hours into the NBA free-agency period, and the San Antonio Spurs—the team that spends most offseasons chilling, drinking wine, and then eventually scooping up scrap-heap free agents who will later win them a playoff game—are making some goddamn moves....
The Prison Break's Lovelorn Tabloid Villain Is No Mere "Shaw-Skank"
Sometime on the night of June 5, two convicted murderers popped out of a sewer near Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York and started running. It took three weeks to stop them; the aftermath left one dead, and the other shot and recaptured. Two prison workers who aided that stunning esca...
Maybe <i>Creed </i>Can Help Everyone Forget About <i>Rocky Balboa</i>
Rocky Balboa, the sixth of the Rocky movies, may have been financially successful and critically acceptable, but man, it felt really dated with a 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone shuffling around with Antonio Tarver. Creed is clearly intent on extending the franchise with a new, young boxing protagoni...
Anthony Davis Agrees To NBA's Richest Deal
At midnight last night, NBA teams were allowed to begin negotiations with their players. One minute after that, the Pelicans and Anthony Davis agreed to a max extension that could keep the 22-year-old star center in New Orleans through 2021. One minute after that, Davis announced the news:...
Deadspin Up All Night: He'll Never Be Any Good
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What Happens If Someone Dies During The Hot Dog Eating Contest?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering pretzels, Canada, prom boning, and more....
Actually, Cats Are Fine
If you are looking for the perfect pet, one that will give you endless hours of delight and a lifetime of love, keep looking. Cats are not those pets. But cats are okay, so lay off them, man....