Locker Page 850 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>They Came Together</em>: The Second-Best Romantic Comedy Spoof Ever
I'm just a guy, sitting in front of a screen, asking it to make me laugh at beautiful, awkward, charming people who are falling in love. The romantic comedy can be a fine way to burn two hours, but it's a silly genre at heart, with its contrived meet-cutes and drawn-out misunderstandings, and also...
Meta Analysis: How Many Licks To Reach The Center Of A Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But we can at least use data to make an educated guess....
Deadspin Up All Night: Innuendos, Inadequacies, Foreign Bodies
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Talk about things....
Here's A "Cute" Video That Will Just Completely Ruin Your Day
This video is fucked up, man....
What If Baseball's Unwritten Rules Applied To Real Life?
No time for charming intros, so let's get right to it. ...
Oklahoma State Avoids APR Penalties Thanks To Player From The 1990s
One of the NCAA's favorite weapons in its PR battle to classify amateur athletes as "student-athletes" is Academic Progress Rate, a formula which provides academic benchmarks programs must achieve to avoid penalties. How meaningless is APR? Oklahoma State football only managed to clear the bar by in...
The Real Negrodamus: On Chris Rock's Hilariously Prescient <em>Born Suspect</em>
Chris Rock said white people would never let it happen. A plan would be devised....
Bartender Unwittingly Serves "Flaming Lithuanian"
Keep an eye on the balding fellow, leftmost among the guys in white shirts at the start of the video. Look at that poor bastard. Dude's tired and depressed from a long day of middle-managing a Lithuanian bioinformatics firm or whatever, just minding his own business, trying to have a drink and a g...
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
NCAA Head Injury Lawsuit Settled With $70 Million Brain Evaluation Fund
The NCAA has settled a class-action lawsuit by agreeing to set up a $70 million fund to evaluate current and former NCAA athletes in a variety of contact sports for brain trauma. Unlike the NFL's maligned but needed settlement that's still evolving, this seems at first blush like an OK deal for NCAA...
The Five-Forty Eight
Ah, now he's a gem from The New Yorker--John Cheever's 1954 short story, "The Five-Forty-Eight":...
The NBPA Executive Director Election Sounds Like A Mess
According to Woj, the NBPA executive committee is supporting Michele Roberts, an attorney, for executive director. The vote is about to begin, but it does not sound like any involved are happy about any of it. ...
Suns Forward P.J. Tucker Arrested, Charged With "Super Extreme DUI"
Back in May, before he signed his three-year $16.5 million deal with the Suns, P.J. Tucker was pulled over in Scottsdale, Arizona after allegedly blowing through a stop sign. Cops reported he made a wide left turn and was driving between two lanes before they finally pulled him over. According to th...
Judge Rules Against Donald Sterling, Who Will Lose The Clippers
Donald Sterling's ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers was finally wrested away from him thanks to a judge's ruling on Sterling's lawsuit against his wife, Shelly, which was meant to block the sale of the Clippers to Steve Ballmer. The judge ruled a clean sweep in favor of Shelly Sterling, and the ...
News Anchors Reporting Plane Crash Can't Say "Ouagadougou"
Ouagadougou is the capital of Burkina Faso. It's also the origin of Air Algerie flight 5017, which crashed last week in Mali killing 118. With the disaster coming so soon after the MH17 tragedy, coverage of the crash in West Africa deserved high placement in local newscasts across the U.S.—and, in t...
Metta World Peace Is Still A Dude You Don't Want To Mess With
Metta World Peace may no longer be the terrifying NBA presence he once was—mostly because he's no longer in the NBA—but that doesn't mean that he's a guy you can fuck with at the Venice summer league. Two dudes found out as much while playing in a recent pick-up game with the former defensive player...
Why Your Classic Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Saved By The Bell</em>
Time for another look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Previous installments in this series can be found here. ...
Gordon Ramsay's Kid Will Host A Cooking Show, For Some Reason
Gordon Ramsay, professional emotional abuser of reality-TV cooks, has a 12-year-old daughter named Tilly. And Tilly has an ambition: to indulge a 12-year-old's desire for fame and adoration in the hopes that a cooking show starring a pre-teen will goose a certain famous TV person's flagging busin...
T-Wolves Rookie Zach LaVine Puts On An Incredible Dunk Show
Zach LaVine, who we already know can jump really, really high, was at the Seattle Pro-Am this year, and he shut shit down during the dunk contest....