Locker Page 852 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Asshole Cannot Find Pen, Writes Entire <em>NYT</em> Trend Piece About It
Even by the standards of fake trend pieces in the The New York Times, today's column in about "The Demise of the Pen" in—where else?—the fashion and style section is exceptionally breathtaking in its presumptuousness. Join me now and marvel as writerer Nick Bilton turns a moment of sheer banality i...
Frank Caliendo Reads LeBron's Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
Frank Caliendo went on Mike & Mike today and read LeBron's essay announcing his return to Cleveland in the voice of Morgan Freeman. It's an excellent impression. Just make sure to close the video 24 seconds early so you don't have to hear Greeny and Golic. Like a cold bucket of water, those two. (Up...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'll Have It Buried
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a pleasant evening....
Court Documents Reveal Owning The Clippers Is A License To Print Money
Thanks to Donald Sterling's ongoing legal battles, ESPN was able to get its hands on something called a "bid book," a report prepared for the Sterlings by Bank of America that details the Clippers' financials as well as what kind of bids the Sterlings should have expected from prospective buyers. Th...
Dammit, Justin Bieber, Stay The Hell Away From Kevin Durant
According to Justin Bieber's Instagram account, which is usually a repository for the pop singer's embarrassing and fraudulent basketball "highlights," Biebs recently grabbed a quick brunch with Kevin Durant. Fuck you, Justin Bieber....
Kid At Dwyane Wade's Basketball Camp Demands To Know Why He Flops
If only there was video of the kid actually asking Dwyane Wade why he flops. That would be beautiful. Wade's explanation of the story is a decent consolation prize....
The Lebowskis Who Might Have Been: Behind The Scenes With The Coens
When I was 25 I got a job with the Coen brothers. I'd worked on three movies as an apprentice film editor and got a gig with them as a personal assistant when they made The Big Lebowski. I was with them for a year, from before pre-production through post-production (when they edited the movie, I tra...
Donald Sterling Is Suing Everybody, Again
In yet another attempt to make some more cash and make everyone else's life difficult, Donald Sterling has filed another lawsuit against his wife and the NBA, accusing them of defrauding him out of the Clippers and demanding that the sale of the team be blocked....
Nothing Up Woody Allen's Sleeve: <em>Magic In The Moonlight</em>, Reviewed
Magic in the Moonlight is the sort of Woody Allen movie that longtime fans have trouble defending, not because it's terrible or lazy—it's neither—but because it's so painfully familiar. Likeable and completely disposable, his new comedy has its chuckles, but as he gets closer to the 50-feature m...
Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...
LeBron Sent Cupcakes To His Neighbors After The Media Crush At His House
A user on the NBA subreddit posted the picture above claiming that his parents live on the same street as LeBron in Bath, OH. Apparently LeBron and his family sent a little note and some cupcakes to their neighbors to apologize and thank them for understanding the media circus that went down in thei...
A Reminder: LeBron Is A Freak Genius With A Photographic Memory
ESPN's Brian Windhorst has a new profile on LeBron; it's good, and ostensibly about how LeBron uses his uncommonly good memory to enhance to his more obvious physical talent. It's full of relevant basketball examples and wide-eyed onlookers. It's also front-loaded with some stories that are actually...
Warm Your Heart With A Supercut Of Kids Swearing In Movies
There's something disarming about a little kid swearing. It's shocking and delightful at the same time, even though it's not supposed to be encouraged. That's real life, though. This supercut of children cursing in movies, however, can be enjoyed without guilt. Embrace the profanity, especially "bun...
What's Karl Marx Doing In These Arguments Against College Athlete Pay?
Bob Bowlsby is a man with a very influential job. He is the commissioner of the Big 12 conference, one of the so-called power conferences that helps set policy for major college football. He also harbors a belief that is most commonly associated with pre-20th-century economics, and has really on...
Don't Cut Your Hamburgers In Half
Before we get to the Funbag, you should know that very soon, it's going to be time for the 32-part satanic incantation of our WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS NFL previews. So much sucking to do! So if your team sucks (and I do mean your team; don't be the asshole Redskins fan who writes in to bitch about the ...
Never Change, OBC
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
How To Ditch The Pillsbury Dough-Log And Make Your Own Cookies
Ah, the chocolate-chip cookie. Many a confectionery addiction kicked off the moment an impressionable youngster watched a vulgar blue puppet shovel platefuls of these things into his gaping, vacant mouth-hole. This obsession probably also explains why the Sexy Cookie Monster costume exists. (Relate...
Smokin' Joe Frazier
From Philly.com, check out this article about Stephen Layne's dope Joe Frazier sculpture. ...