Look At This Stupid Fucking LeBron Shirt

There comes a time in every person's life when you have to decide that for which you will stand, and that for which you will not goddamned stand. "STRIV2 For GREATN3SS" is that time and if you choose to stand "4" it, you can get right the hell out of here, man.

LeBron chose to go back to his old number 23, maybe you heard. Much like Nike's nonsensical RE2PECT campaign for Derek Jeter, they went ahead and replaced some letters with LeBron-appropriate numbers on some new shirts. On top of "S" for the Jeter video, Nike has replaced the "E" in "strive" with a "2" giving us "STRIV2." So, now, instead of a directive "strive," it sounds like the incurable disease Tom Cruise miraculously develops the antidote for in Mission Impossible 7: Patient Zer0.

Perhaps feeling that 2 was getting too powerful, as it slowly devoured the alphabet, Nike then went ahead and gave 3 domain over "E" as well. The numbers 2 and 3 are both replacing the same letter on the same shirt. This is fucking madness.

The shirt is a stroke, on infinite loop. It doesn't help that "for"—a homophone of "four"—immediately follows the 2. One quick glance and, instead of reading a faux-inspirational $35 piece of cotton, you find yourself chanting like a cheerleader.

We should not be doing this. No more slogans with letters substituted by numbers. Down with numbers in words. Fuck David Fincher.