Marco Rubio Wins Steady Paycheck In Lead-Up To 2020 Loss

Unfortunately for Marco Rubio, he’s projected to win his race for the Senate in Florida. A win that, even more unfortunately for the American people, means four more years of dealing with Marco Rubio.

Rubio’s already admitted that he the job, telling CNN:

No one can make that commitment because you don’t know what the future’s going to hold in your life, personally or politically.

Which basically means, I’ll see you in the primaries.

We already know he hates his job—it’s why he rarely bothers to show up in the first place. And yet, Rubio needs to stay in the public eye if he wants a chance at losing the presidency in 2020 (and he needs a paycheck even more).

But after getting humiliated in his own state by Donald Trump, a win—even for a job you hate—has to feel nice. Winning after explicitly telling your state that you don’t want to be its senator has to feel even nicer.

So take solace in that, Marco. Our hearts go out to you on your continued obligation to the Senate, and we’ll see you at the Pizza Ranch.

Update 8:48 p.m.:

Jeb has taken to taunting Marco.