Marlins President Talks About His Penis Pump, Porn, Being Careful About What You Say On Twitter

Logan Morrison is one of baseball's most prolific tweeters, and some of his vaguely salacious tweets have landed him in vaguely hot water with management. David Samson, Marlins President, had this to say:

"I'm not a dinosaur," Samson says. "But I'm not thrilled. It's very scary to me. I've told Logan, `People are waiting for you to make a mistake. They're going to bait you on Twitter to say something inappropriate that you can never take back.'

"It takes an entire career to build a reputation, and one tweet to lose it. As long as he understands that, it's fine."

Leave it to the Marlins to chastise a player whose follower count is roughly double last night's attendance. Sure, athletes make idiots of themselves on Twitter, but athletes can make idiots of themselves on any medium. Not just athletes: even team presidents such as, say, David Samson of the Marlins, can do it. Can't Stop The Bleeding dug up an old article detailing some statements Samson would probably like to take back:

Recently, the Marlins' team president (above) gave another supposedly comic discourse on 790 The Ticket (WAXY-AM) that touched all the bases of women, sex and pornography. This isn't uncommon. In the past, he has "joked" of having Porn Night at the stadium. He's "joked" of having a sex toy in his car. He's "joked" which players looked like porn stars. (Do you see the thread here? And are you laughing yet?)

On this particular show, a male caller who said he otherwise enjoyed Samson's segment asked him to, "Please try not to be so derogatory toward women and lustful when you do the interview. I try to enjoy the show with my girl, and she's like, `Oh, that Dave Samson, he's a real creep.'"

"Don't be lecherous, Samson," show host Dan LeBatard said.

"I will try to be slightly less lecherous for his girlfriend," Samson said. "And if he would like to bring her to my office, we could definitely talk about my lechery."

On another show, he was asked, "in honor of Maurice Clarett," what would police find in his car if he were pulled over.

"I think there's two things that would potentially be found," he said. "First one is [former Playboy model and MTV VJ] Nina Blackwood."

He continued: "Second one would be some sort of Austin Powers-like device. … Austin Powers had a device that made everyone coo and was given back to him when he was unfrozen, and that's the device that potentially is kept in the trunk of my car. That's all I'm saying."

The device to which he alluded, as the movie Web site said, is a "Swedish-made penis enlarger pump."

To which Samson asked Thursday: "Is it against the law to talk about penis enlarger pumps?"

You see, Logan? Just shut down the Twitter account and start your own call-in show. We have a suggestion for your first guest. Marlins' Diminutive Accujack Enthusiast's Double Standard For Free Expression [Can't Stop The Bleeding]