Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles

Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong with their ace. This morning, Harvey quelled everyone’s fears by revealing that he has a bladder infection from holding his pee for too long.

I would personally like to thank the Mets for fighting to keep the spirit of LOLMets alive, even when they are good.

Photo via AP