NBA Finals Game 5 First Half Live Blog

Whoa, sensei. The NBA Finals Game 5 gets to follow that. Much like when Tiger Woods was on the ropes, so are the LA Lakers, down 3-1 in the series. Kobe Bryant says the series is far from over. Boston would like very much to finish this series right now. The referees were instructed by their superiors to go somewhere in between the two. (OK, that's more of a rumor.) Follow the first 24 minutes of the game after the jump.

——————————————————————

Halftime Entertainment

Second Quarter

:00.000,0*0^0 — These games go a lot faster during a live blog, it seems.

:57.2 — A lot of running around, colliding, and breath-catching without any points being scored. They could have saved their energy and just played Uncle Wiggily for a couple minutes. Remember Uncle Wiggily?

4:03 — I like the sneak peek into the coaching huddle. You can see Doc Rivers is actually doing coaching things, drawing coaching plays. Phil Jackson merely said something along the line of, "Do what I already told you to do. And you will score points." Basically, he already did his coaching.

4:25 — Sam Cassell is not going to get any points by shooting the ball through the hoop. Boston should realize this by now.

5:44 — An advertisement for the NBA Finals is not necessary when it's aired during ... the NBA Finals. See, we're already kind of sold on this whole idea.

6:41 — That lead was 19 at one point, right? Well, hey, now it's four. A 3-point bucket puts the Lakers lead at 43-39.

6:50 — So there you have a missed call. The ball went out of bounds off PJ Brown, but it still is part of the Celtics deed. Although it wasn't Dick Bavetta's notarized signature on that whistle.

7:37 — Kevin Garnett now has three fouls. It's time for evasive maneuvers. Kevin McHale has agreed to acquire two of those fouls in exchange for their 2009 first round draft pick and Chris Gatling.

9:14 — I'm not sure if I'm sold on this Opportunity Knocks TV show. A reality-style show where they come to your house and build a game show studio? Weaksauce. Hey, I have an idea for a reality TV show. A game show host knocks on someone's door, and murders the entire family. Then they steal everything, then invite their friends over and assume the family's identity, maxing out credit cards and having the old family's friends over for dinner parties. I call the show: The Aristocrats!

9:21 — Chris Mihm inbounds to Tony Allen. Even Tony Allen's own team doesn't inbound to Tony Allen.

10:12 — James Posey, fighting for a rebound, falls into the second row of people sitting on the floor. That's a pretty bad lie, but I think Lee Westwood can punch it out of there and save par.

10:54 — Hey, that sounds like a good plan. Instead of, in Game 4, you let the Celtics back in the game, perhaps the Lakers should just hold the lead and continue scoring. Innovative basketball thinking!

11:43 — The announcing team is visibly shaken when they see Chris Mihm in the game.

First Quarter

:00.9 — A PJ Brown goaltend call puts in the first quarter lead at 17 points. All of you with parlays of that nature, please collect your winnings at your local Minutiae Caesar's.

:28.9 — The Lakers are putting the end of the quarter on cruise control, and yet Sasha Vujacic and Jordan Farmar continue to push that lead up into the medium-to-high teens, which means this lead is legally fuckable in some states and not others.

1:08 — PJ Brown checks into the game. So you have 12 guys on a roster, and a couple of retired numbers. And PJ Brown goes for 93. He's not a defensive lineman. He's not a NASCAR Nationwide driver. Why the hell 93?

3:31 — Van Gundy: "Do you need to chant 'MVP' after a guy already won it?" Yes, when as Lakers fans you need mental reminders to determine if this is a night you like Kobe Bryant or not. Moreover, chants of "BRING BACK SHAQ" will help the fans pine for the days of yore.

6:13 — Paul Pierce makes a basket, but it's still 18-7 in favor of the Lakers. I have no past evidence to tell me whether or not the Celtics can overcome such a bad first quarter deficit.

7:10 — For all the tech issues going on today, I will say this: the live blogging is several centuries faster than it was last time. The updates are almost instantaneously hitting the page. Such as this update. And this one. Poop. [waves hand in front of server, giggles uncontrollably.]

7:52 — Rajan Rondo cuts through defenders to take a lay-u... or not! That's the pass-first, crochet-second, upholster-third, shoot-fourth mentality. The ensuing shot is missed.

9:43 — Derek Fisher gets fouled directly into a cameraman. Ouch. This is like when I pushed a kid at recess into another kid, yet I get in trouble. Sure, I'll take blame for the first contact, but after that it was out of my control. Blame inertia, Mrs. McCloskey.

10:04 — Oh, yeah. Dick Bavetta is officiating this game. This'll be good.

10:43 — The Lakers, playing by American Gladiators "Eliminator" rules, get a minute-and-a-half headstart in the game, and jump to a 5-0 lead. I'm sure Boston will show up at some point.