NFL Week Seventeen, Update #2

• The Jets have done the not-so-impossible and beaten the Raiders to sew up a playoff spot. It doesn't seem like beating the Raiders is an accomplishment worthy of getting someone a playoff spot, but you know, neither does going 8-8 in the NFC. Chadwick Pennington was 22 of 30 for 157 yards and a TD on the day, and Aaron Brooks had an interception and a fumble. Congrats, Jets fans. That picture of Rich Kotite is just so you can remember where you came from.

• On the clock for the first pick of the NFL draft... the Oakland Raiders. The Detroit Lions have beaten the Dallas Cowboys, 39-31. Roy Williams, Mike Furrey, and Jon Kitna were all... well, they were pretty good. I was going to say "brilliant," but that seemed like a little bit of a stretch. Even little-used Mike Williams got in on things, catching a touchdown pass. I tell you, that guy has potential.

• Shayne Graham just shanked a 39-yard kick that would've given the Bengals the win at the end of the game. The Steelers and Bengals are headed to overtime now in what's been honestly one of the best games of the year. The Steelers tied it up just about a minute before Graham shanked his kick, proving that kickers who have pictures of their dicks posted on Deadspin have a clear advantage in mental toughness. The Steelers won the toss.

UPDATE: That didn't last long... Santonio Holmes just ended it with 13:27 to play in the overtime period with some blazing speed.

And we're going to cut the NFL day a little bit short here, so I can go make myself pretty for whatever lucky young lady I'm forcing myself on at midnight.

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