Our friends at Drunk Jays Fans have unearthed an arrest report written by a Toronto police officer about a fan who ran onto the field at a Blue Jays game on May 5. It is perhaps the best arrest report ever written.
On May 5, 2013 at approximately 3:18 PM the Toronto Blue jays were surprisingly winning against the underrated Seattle Marriners. Our hapless Jays limped along to the bottom of the 8th inning. At one point, the Jays were considered World Series contenders. One can almost forgive the accused for his below described actions.
Luckily, the accused ran onto the field from level 100 and wasn’t forced to jump from the 500 level out of sheer frustration.
In any event, the accused before the court, Joseph [Redacted], in what can only be described as an attempt to inject some kind of spark in our listless Jays, ran onto the field “interrupting” the game, giving jays fans a brief respite from their season long agony.
The accused was subsequently placed under arrest to applause, transported to 52 Division where he was released on a Form 10/11.1.
Canada seems like a swell place to live.