Only The Shit-Ass Mets And Shit-Ass José Reyes Could Make Baseball History Like This

To the surprise of nobody, the Mets followed up yesterday’s 25-4 loss to the Nationals by losing yet again. They couldn’t capitalize on the late momentum they generated last night or the Nationals’ fluid roster, and they wound up losing 5-3. It was not for lack of effort on José Reyes’s part, however, as the infielder made a very particular sort of history when he hit two solo home runs today.

Reyes “pitched” the eighth inning for the Mets yesterday, allowing six runs and on 48 pitches. His 54.00 career ERA is a tremendous figure that I hope never drops, and when he hit two dingers today, he achieved a historically unique and characteristically Metsian feat by becoming the first player in modern major league history to allow multiple home runs the day before hitting multiple home runs.

That the Mets lost both games, one in historic fashion, is a perfect encapsulation of their season, their franchise, and their existence.