This weekend's Snowflake Regatta in Riverhead, New York, had to have the least competent group of rowers ever assembled in one place. Here's an attempted catalogue of all the damage:
- :13 - A boat straight up rows into a pier, knocking someone overboard
- :21 - A boat is seemingly stuck on land
- :40 - An aimlessly adrift boat gets in another's way, prompting angry mothers to yell "assholes!" and "you RUINED IT for them!"
- 1:00 - Two boats are just chilling in the middle of the course after they got in each other's way
- 1:00 to 1:40 - Apparently it takes a Herculean effort to disengage two boats
- 1:45 - Phew, they're finally disengaged
- 1:50 - OH GOD THEY DISENGAGED INTO THE PATH OF A THIRD BOAT!
- 2:10 - A kid gets clocked in the head by another boat's oar
- 2:27 - A boat has to slow down after realizing they're running into land
- 2:38 - They avoid the land, but run into what looks like a hanging orange trash bag
- 2:45 - Some guy sums up the race with an anguished, "oh no, again?!" as two boats run into each other
Just watch the damn video.