Report: Marlins Continue Setting Themselves On Fire, Trade Marcell Ozuna To Cardinals

The Miami Marlins, an alleged major league club in the NL East, are carrying on with their plan to strip the franchise bare and trade off all their players worth a damn. Giancarlo Stanton is a Yankee, Dee Gordon is a Mariner, everyone else is available, and now Marcell Ozuna is a Cardinal. Jesse Sanchez first reported the trade, and Craig Mish later confirmed it.

The terms of the deal have not been reported yet, although the Marlins were apparently asking for two pitching prospects and a replacement outfielder. The 27-year-old Ozuna was a bargain at $3.5 million last season as he hit 37 home runs with a .376 OBP. Derek Jeter’s stupid ballclub just transparently does not give a shit.

If any team would like Christian Yelich, feel free to offer Jeets a two-hour jet ski rental and a tour of your double-A stadium.