Our favorite human beer keg now has his own cereal, and look at what it's called. Grönk Flakes might seem like ordinary frosted corn flakes, but they come in a box with Gronk's likeness on it, so ... there. Sales pitch, you ask? (I know you didn't, but play along.) Don't worry, Gronk's got you covered with this tidy little bit of Gronkspeak he gave to Jeff Howe of the Boston Herald: "If you want to be buff like me, you'll eat that stuff." Catchy! Oh, and Mötley Crüe, you've officially been bumped to second in the Most Unnecessary Umlaut standings.