Roger Clemens Is Going To Play Professional Baseball Again

Roger Clemens hasn't pitched since 2007. Probably because he's old and fat and toxic. But just two months removed from a pointless perjury trial, Clemens thinks he still has enough in the tank to take the mound—and the Sugar Land Skeeters think he's enough of a draw to offer a contract.

The Skeeters, in the independent Atlantic League, have worked out Clemens and will sign him ahead of his first start on Saturday, according to Mark Berman of Fox Houston. Clemens, seen here making the universal "this guy" gesture, hit 87 mph during his workout, and is supposedly in "great shape." Sugar Land, however, may be far enough from New York to keep Suzyn Waldman from soiling her chair.

Clemens joins a Sugar Land rotation with Scott Kazmir and Tim Redding, and will face a Bridgeport Bluefish lineup that inclues Shea Hillenbrand and Joey Gathright. The point: independent league ball is awesome.