Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Where Portugal and Wales failed to actualize their best selves during yesterday’s bland Euro semifinal, this enterprising teen ball boy put together a performance for the ages, one every subsequent ball boy will aspire to replicate.

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A selfie with Cristiano Ronaldo, a spot in the team picture, and acknowledgement from Ronaldo—the cheekiest bastard of all—for how impressively cheeky it all was. Masterful work.

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