Photo: Lynne Sladky (AP)

Lots of sports news to consume today. I hear T.J. McConnell did some things. It looks like the Raptors soiled themselves in front of LeBron once again. The Caps did a hockey accomplishment of some sort. I don’t care about any of it! All I care about, for the rest of the summer, is Vlad Guerrero’s stout son thundering baseballs out of the yard.

Vlad Guerrero Jr. hit two dingers in a Double-A game last night, and Baseball America’s Ben Badler was there to capture them on camera. Consider the first an appetizer:

For this incredible main course:

Please indulge me for a moment as I place a Panama hat on my head, stick a cigar into my mouth, and clutch a radar gun: The ball just sounds different when it comes off this kid’s bat!

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Crushing dongs off live pitching isn’t the only feat of strength Vlad Jr. provided this week. Here he is hitting a ball off a tee and out of the damn stadium:

I demand that the Blue Jays call him up to the big leagues within the next hour. I demand it.