Show Me Nothing But Vlad Guerrero Jr. Dingers

Lots of sports news to consume today. I hear T.J. McConnell did some things. It looks like the Raptors soiled themselves in front of LeBron once again. The Caps did a hockey accomplishment of some sort. I don’t care about any of it! All I care about, for the rest of the summer, is Vlad Guerrero’s stout son thundering baseballs out of the yard.

Vlad Guerrero Jr. hit two dingers in a Double-A game last night, and Baseball America’s Ben Badler was there to capture them on camera. Consider the first an appetizer:

For this incredible main course:

Please indulge me for a moment as I place a Panama hat on my head, stick a cigar into my mouth, and clutch a radar gun: The ball just sounds different when it comes off this kid’s bat!

Crushing dongs off live pitching isn’t the only feat of strength Vlad Jr. provided this week. Here he is hitting a ball off a tee and out of the damn stadium:

I demand that the Blue Jays call him up to the big leagues within the next hour. I demand it.