Soccer Page 457 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Dare Oppose The Flailing Fists Of Fury?
Ah, the windmill. Once a devastating fighting maneuver featured in middle schools everywhere, it has fallen out of favor in recent years, and is now nearly extinct in the wild. The only place one can see it currently is in Popeye cartoons or Spanish soccer, the latter which recently gave us the some...
Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...
Hirshey: Here You Go, Scousers
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The FA Cup...
The Premiership is actually taking the weekend off, deferring to the third round of the FA Cup, a big tournament open to all the teams in England, be they a top Premiership team, or a collection of lumberjacks with a Nerf soccer ball....
Hirshey Quickie: On Zidane, Saddam And Hair
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The Premiership...
• Chelsea 2-2 Fulham. Oh, that one hurts. Taking the draw at home against a middle-of-the-table Fulham side... I guess you suck, Chelsea. It's their second straight draw, and fourth consecutive Premiership game in which they've given up two goals (not coincidentally also the fourth straight game t...
Johnny Fontane Will Be Starting For Palermo Soon
On Christmas eve, the wife of Rino Foschi, head coach of the Palermo soccer team, opened up a pleasant-looking present that was under their Christmas tree. Inside was a severed goat's head, covered blood....
Hirshey: It Should Have Been Mourinho
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester United. The win means that Manchester United will hold on to the top spot in the league, no matter what Chelsea does against Wigan this afternoon. Had United lost, Chelsea would've been able to grab the lead in the standings, which would have been sort of depressing and ...
You Can't Really Blame This One On Isiah
Here's what we love about soccer fights; no matter how heated things get, they still won't use their hands. You kick your opponent, and then run away (that part seems to be universal). Our two favorite aspects of this melee between Barcelona and Ecuador on Tuesday are the length — it seems to go on ...
Soccer Player To Enjoy A Year Of Imaginary Freedom
Tired of American sports figures causing mayhem with actual weapons? We present Gary Charles, a former professional English soccer player who was arrested recently for threatening a bouncer with an imaginary knife. From the BBC:...
Bless This Pitch
So here's something potentially quite fun: The Vatican is considering fielding a soccer team....
Time To Cart Off 2006
Yes, it's beginning to smell like a new year, which means that we have our minds on only one thing: Our favorite stretcher-related video clips of 2006. Here they are in no particular order, although we have to say that No. 3 has a special place in our heart, because you just can't fake that kind of ...
Hirshey's Holiday Week Off
We are sorry to disappoint, but our main man David Hirshey is taking a week off from his weekly windings on the world of the English Premier League. (That's soccer, in case you forgot.) He sends the following explanation/report:...
Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 2-2 Portsmouth. Arsenal was able to claw out a point, despite facing a 2-0 deficit in the second half. Emmanuel Adebayor and Gilberto Silva scored just two minutes apart for the Gunners after Matt Taylor gave Portsmouth a 2-0 lead just after the break. Despite being just one point apart ...
Hirshey: A Game Even Dumb Newbies Could Love
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 3-1 Manchester City. Cross-town rivalries are fun, but... well, you'd prefer they were a little more competitive. Manchester City hasn't won at Old Trafford in 32 years, and goals from Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Louis Saha kept them from doing it today. City actually ...
Insert "They Couldn't Use Their Hands" Joke Here
Goddammit, why can't American athletes be as interesting and publicly debaucherous as British athletes? We mean, seriously....
Yeah, Take That, You Monstrous Goal Receptacle
We've been remiss in not mentioning the rather astounding celebration from UC Santa Barbara fans after their team upset UCLA to win its first-ever soccer national championship last weekend. In a rarity for American soccer fans, they went kind of nuts, swiping a goal post and throwing it into the oce...
Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...