Soccer Page 458 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
One Man's Very Special 25th Birthday
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...
When The Refs Have Guns, We All Win
You know what American sports need? They need to start arming the referees....
ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday....
The MLS Cup Could Be Yours
The Houston Dynamo — or Dynamos; whatever — won the MLS Cup Trophy earlier this year. Way to go, guys; we're happy for you. In a way to try to promote the league and team, the Dynamo has decided to temporarily auction off the trophy....
Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...
Nailing 'Em In The Swingers
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Grand Slam Sunday
Apparently it's like the Super Bowl of soccer on the other side of the pond today. Yeah, news to me too! Dubbed Grand Slam Sunday by the Brits, we just had Liverpool and Manchester United in the first match — final score: Man. U 1-0 — with Arsenal versus Chelsea in the second installment. In fact, t...
Meet The Brand New Face Of English Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
ESPN Ready For European Invasion
We haven't talked to Hirshey about this, but we're sure it's gonna make him find something tall to jump off of: ESPN is looking to buy broadcast rights to the English Premier League....
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
A Full Weekend Of Losing
David Hirshey writes regular for Deadspin about soccer....
Peruvian Soccer Fans Are Easily Offended
In Peru, Efrain Viafara, a midfielder for Sport Ancash, created an uproar when he used his buttocks to trap the ball. His bit of unorthodox skill was interpreted as a mocking act by Universitario players, who chased Viafara. Fans began to fight in the stands, then poured onto the field before the re...
Welcome Newcastlers!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...
Never Bring A Lion To A Cannonfight
For some reason, great teams always play with more fervor after a loss. We can all assume the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl if they fall in Week 17, or that Duke basketball will win the Final Four if they trip up in the ACC tournament. But this isn't the case over in England. Instead,...
The Only English Coach For World Cup 2010
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Tony Henry, Croatian Soccer Hero
Interpreting this post's title, one might assume that Tony Henry, pictured, scored the game-winning goal in Croatia's crucial Euro 2008 defeat of England. Nope. Tony Henry doesn't even play soccer. He's a British opera singer. And thanks to a small gaffe, a new Croatian hero....
Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....