1 Page 270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No, Seriously, Dissolve The United States
Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy, a Republican Senator, and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar. Bartender looks them over and says, “Christ, this is 60 percent of the Democratic presidential campaign field? You motherfuckers make Richard Nixon look like Leon Trotsky.” Then Jim Webb knifes him, bec...
Curt Schilling Has A Democratic Debate Take For You
There will be a lot of takes on tonight’s Democratic debate. Here’s the one that matters....
Jeb Bush Says He Didn't Smoke Weed With Bill Belichick
Clay Travis of Fox Sports had a conversation with Jeb Bush that I don’t care to know more about, other than the part where he asked Bush if he smoked weed with Bill Belichick in high school. So, Jeb, did you ever light one up with Belichick? Ever smoked on that gas? Waked and baked? Celebrated 4:20?...
Fox Sports Humiliates America With Horrible USMNT Promo
Remember when a Mexican TV station used Donald Trump, a mass of whoopie cushions and mashed potatoes inhabited by a chaos demon, to troll the USMNT ahead of tomorrow’s game against Mexico? That was pretty good! They got us! Today, Fox tried to clap back with a promo video of its own:...
Remembering The Tour De Trump, Donald Trump's Failed Bike Race
Donald Trump, a talking tube of bronzer, is a man of leisure and failed investments. Right around the end of the 1980s, he expanded with a truly catastrophic series of investments which led him to declare his first of four corporate bankruptcies in 1991. There was Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, an...
Here Are All The Teams You Can Root For In The MLB Playoffs
The play-in games are finished, and baseball is on the road to the World Series. We wrote previews for every club in the playoffs. Here’s where you can find the remaining teams....
Katie Nolan Calls Out "Garbage Human" Greg Hardy
On last night’s episode of Garbage Time, Katie Nolan discussed the return of Dallas Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy, who was suspended after being accused of violently abusing his then-girlfriend. ...
Astros Three-Hit The Yankees To Advance To ALDS
With the Astros unable to clinch a spot in the AL’s Wild Card game until the final day of the season, they didn’t have the luxury of setting up their rotation for the playoffs. Staff ace Dallas Keuchel, who is a leading candidate to win the AL Cy Young, had to pitch on Friday, but still Astros manag...
Root For The Astros In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE HOUSTON ASTROS....
Root For The Rangers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE TEXAS RANGERS....
Root For The Dodgers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS....
This Ridiculous Solo Wondergoal Is The Apex Of Hatem Ben Arfa's Career
You almost feel like Hatem Ben Arfa’s entire time on a soccer pitch was destined to culminate in this moment. For years Ben Arfa’s career has flickered with brief moments of genius, intermittently successful attempts at squeezing through the tightest of openings and twirling past the thickest swarms...
Lance Berkman Cites Random Men In Women's Bathrooms As Reason To Keep Discriminating
On Nov. 3, the city of Houston will vote on Proposition 1, an ordinance which would protect Houston residents from discrimination in work, public spaces, or housing. Retired MLBer Lance Berkman is against it because he doesn’t want men in women’s bathrooms. That’s not a joke. Watch the ad, paid for ...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Marseille Fans Kind Of Upset With Former Player, Hang Him In Effigy
Mathieu Valbuena starred for French club Marseille for eight long, prosperous seasons before moving on to richer pastures last summer. He was their best player and the crowd favorite for many a year, and when he left for Dynamo Moscow the club retired his number. After one season in Russia, he’s bac...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
Marco Rubio's Boy Kinda Punched Rand Paul's Boy In The Face Last Night
Politics, like rap music, is sports. In the throes of competition, tempers flare as the blood gets hot. There’s always some beef. Sometimes, separate parties arrive at blows. Rarely, there’s even gunplay. Within that context, allow us to direct you to the bestest beef of them all, between aides to R...
Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Are Having A Serious Public Debate On Black Lives Matter
Over the past few days, two Seahawks have publicly offered differing opinions on the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality, poverty, and a host of related issues. In the usually anodyne world of athlete press conferences, it’s really something....
Dissolve The United States
They are all insane people. Even poor, stressed-out, occasionally lucid-seeming John Kasich: bonkers. Pathology is contextual, and one simply does not bring reasonable takes like Actually, the deal with Iran is okay, provided we do the diligence of enforcing it, just like pretty much every other dea...
FIFA Secretary Jérôme Valcke Suspended For Alleged Ticket Selling Racket
Jérôme Valcke, outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s second-in-command, is currently under investigation by soccer’s governing body concerning allegations that he was involved in a scheme to resell World Cup tickets for grossly inflated prices....