a Page 7480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Book Excerpt: Keith Olbermann, The Asshole Genius
GQ called dibs on the first exclusive excerpt of the gigantic Miller-Shales ESPN oral history, Those Guys Have All The Fun, but we've been given an excerpt of their excerpt just because nobody wants us running any more unapproved excerpts. We'll play along. So read this, then pop over to GQ for the...

Here's The Taj Gibson Dunk That Inspired Reggie Miller To Quote Martin Luther King On Air
The Bulls beat the Heat by 21 points at home in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals this evening. Taj Gibson, who finished with nine points and seven boards off the bench for Chicago, had the two best dunks of the game. The first left Reggie Miller speechless, and presumably on top of Steve Ke...

Nobody Wins When Batman Gets The Ever-Living Shit Kicked Out Of Him In Public
This is just sad. Guy slides into a Batman costume and tries to shake down tourists in a cash-for-photo scheme that ends up killing off the myth of superheroism (or quasi-superheroism) once and for all. Let this be a lesson to false idols everywhere: Making lewd comments to critics is nowhere near...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Neither the San Jose Sharks nor the Vancouver Canucks have won the Stanley Cup. Ever. Hell, the Sharks haven't even been to the finals. But first team to beat the other four times will fight for it against either Boston or Tampa Bay, who have both won it before. (And just like that, you have the fi...

We Are All Dave McKenna C
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets wrapped in white linens and dropped to the bottom of the Potomac....

And Now, More White Baseball Players Trying To Do The Bernie In Unison
For some reason, tipster Heidi H. felt it necessary to send a follow-up last night's DUAN! video of white dudes dancing. Heidi's entry may be more, what's the word, creepy in that it's a lot of guys writhing in close proximity in a locker room....

Lacrosse Hidden-Ball Trick Video Makes Me Interested In Lacrosse For Another Hot Second
In a NCAA Tournament game against UNC, the Maryland Terrapins successfully pulled off the "hidden ball" trick. They went on to win the game 13-6 in no small part because people don't really ever recover from getting hidden-balled by guys named Drew Snider....

Here's A Picture Of Cam Newton's Absurdly Detailed Birthday Cake
Sure, Cam Newton was the No. 1 pick of a league that doesn't tangibly exist at present, but that didn't stop Sassy Girl Bakery from going all decadent with his birthday pastry. Wonder what it cost. Wonder who paid....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The only thing better than Game Seven of an NBA playoff series is Game Seven of an NHL playoff series, Game Seven of MLB playoff series or an overtime playoff game in the NFL playoffs beyond the wild-card round. So, brace yourselves for the 3:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder/Memphis Grizzlies winner-t...

When AC Milan Won The Italian Soccer Title, A Player Paid Homage To Michael Jackson
First, it was a hideous statue outside English Premier League team Fulham's stadium. Now, Michael Jackson continues exerting posthumous control over the living world of soccer; this time, Kevin Prince Boateng of AC Milan did a damn good impression as AC Milan celebrated winning the Scudetto (aka S...

Older Charles Oakley Responds To Violence With Lawsuits Instead Of Fists
Former Knicks/Bulls/Wizards/Raptors/Rockets enforcer and current Charlotte Bobcats assistant coach Charles Oakley is suing the Aria hotel-casino at MGM's CityCenter complex in Vegas because security delivered onto him a "gang-style beat down" when he tried to get into the VIP-pool area. This alleg...

Evan Longoria Didn't Really Make This Life-Saving Catch
If you're willing to believe this video is real, "Gillette Young Gun" Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays saved a lady reporter from getting her brains knocked out of her right ear, with four perfectly framed "Gillette" signs in the background. But you don't believe this video is real, do you? Goo...

Here's Video Of Matthew Barnaby Leaving Jail And A Statement From His Agent
After his arrest and not-guilty plea to charges stemming from a "domestic incident," an agent for ESPN hockey analyst Matthew Barnaby issued a statement on behalf of his client. Here it is:...

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Chad Ochocinco Just Got Paid $210K To Get Thrown Off A Bull In 1.5 Seconds (Updated)
Here's video of the football player formerly known as Chad Johnson practicing the art of leaving the chute on the back of a bull. Of course, he's practicing on the back of a horse, and a horse that kind of ambles instead of bucks. That could explain, in part, why he only lasted 1.5 seconds on bull...

If Watching White Dudes Trying To Dance In Unison Is Your Thing, This Is The Video For You
The highlight of this video, which would never have been made if not for the mental defect which convinces most baseball players they're totally awesome and funny and kings of the world, comes at the 2:30-2:34. Because slo-mo footage of toast actually is awesome....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Depending upon when you read this, game one of the Eastern Conference Finals is just about to start, has already done so or did so long ago. Which means you either have no idea, are finding out or long ago learned whether the Tampa Bay Lightning or Boston Bruins are leading the series. Tense action...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets got....

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

ESPN: It's "Inappropriate For Us To Comment" On ESPN Analyst Matthew Barnaby's "Domestic Incident" Arrest
According to a story posted on ESPN.com just after 2:30 p.m. eastern today, ESPN the network declined comment on "ESPN analyst and former NHL veteran" Matthew Barnaby spending the night in jail, as mentioned in a morning post here....