a Page 7782 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Later, Roy Williams Told A Masseuse That The Gulf Oil Catastrophe Was Nothing Compared To His Sunburn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Are There: Catching A Home Run Ball
If you're like me, you've never caught a ball (fair or foul), but always wondered what it felt like. Well, this amazing video is probably the closest we're going to get....

9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...

Byzantine Facebook Recruiting Rules Trip Up UVa
Virginia Coach Mike London is in trouble not because he sent recruit Curtis Grant a Facebook message, but because he didn't do it secretly. Oh, and the actual message is pretty weird, in a NAMBLA kind of way....

Pasta-Based Terrorism Strikes Pittsburgh Marathon
Here in New York, someone tries to set off a bomb in Times Square, and life goes on a couple hours later. In Pittsburgh, they divert the marathon after finding a microwave with some noodles inside. [WTAE]...

Watch A Waitress Get Absolutely <em>Trucked</em> At An AFL Game
The good part about Arena Football — the front row is right on top of the players. The bad part, for one Orlando waitress, is that the players occasionally end up in the front row. [NFL.com]...

Drink Up, Pro Athletes: Kids Couldn't Care Less
Our good friend SCIENCE! is back, this time with a study that indicates that kids don't emulate or idolize their favorite athletes for their drinking habits. So, Roethlisberger, you're off the hook...oh, right, that other stuff... [Drug And Alcohol Review]...

Mudwrestling At The Kentucky Derby
The infield scene at Churchill Downs may not be as decadent and depraved as at Pimlico these days, but the rainstorm brought a welcome twist to the action. Feisty fillies, indeed. [via Louisville.com]...

The (Potentially Scandalous, Potentially Frivolous) Saints Vicodin Lawsuit
So Sean Payton and another coach are accused of raiding and abusing the team's medicine cabinet. And the security director making the allegations is accused of blackmailing the team. Tricky stuff. This calls for a breakdown....

Last Night's Winner: Off-Track Betting
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like horse racing tracks, which, thanks to some lucky schlub publicly turning nothing into $900,000, should be seeing an influx of fools and their money, soon parted....

Not Invited To The Bachelor Party For One William F. Leitch: Jay Mariotti
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Year's Kentucky Derby? Not Really A Shocker
Somewhere in Louisville, these owners of Noble's Promise are still in shock — ahem! — that Super Saver, manned by Calvin Borel, took the 136th Kentucky Derby on a muddy Churchill Downs track. Perhaps they need some sorrow-drainers....

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

Was This Sports Blog Post Written By A Sports Blogging Robot Who Might Be Evolving Into A Less-Bad Writer?
No. But if it were, you might not know! At least, that's sort of the premise of this follow-up about an army of sportswriting robots — you know, the ones that may just render sports writing obsolete. Except, they won't....

Stories That Don't Suck: The Kentucky Derby Is Faulkneresque, Heartbreaking And, As Always, Decadent And Depraved
Every week, Tommy will excerpt a handful of stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that he urges you to read for one reason or another. Today, I'm filling in. Still, send suggestions: [email protected]....

A Brief History Of The Greatest Twitter Hashtag Of All-Time
Sometimes, I wonder what we did in those dark years without the Internet and, more recently, without Twitter. Friday was one of those days, as I sifted through a Twitter search for a hashtag dubbed "WireDerbyHorseNames." Warning: Omar's coming, yo....

So This Is Why People Go To The Kentucky Derby
For Dennis Rodman's DJing skillz during his live set at the Derby Pretty Party, which the Frazier International History Museum must have been duped into hosting.The revelers were likely terrified into dancing. [Courier-Journal Late-Night Party Photography Service]...

Obama's 20-Something Staffers Wind Down With Softball And Beer Pong, Like Every Other 20-Something
Our basketball-crazed President is something of a health freak, apparently, so it makes sense that his young staffers are physique-obsessed, too. They go to the gym, play pickup basketball, field a softball team and play beer pong with David Axelrod....

Next Up, Lady Gaga Performing Her Hit Single, "Telegram"
How do the Orix Buffaloes, a Japanese baseball team, greet their visitors? With something called "Porker Face." I hope there's video involved, too. [Orix Buffaloes, via Adam]...

Last Night's Winner: Real Players Playing Golf
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like every golfer at the Quail Hollow Championship not named Tiger Woods, all of whom might have some peace and quiet and golf-claps, for once....