a Page 7835 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In Terrifying Ledes
"Police say a supporter has been shot dead following a Brazilian soccer game that was interrupted by a swarm of bees and ended with a brawl between players on the field." [AP]...
Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Make Osama Bin Laden's Death About LeBron James
And it wasn't Scott Raab (yet)....
They're Still Playing That Crazy-Ass, Everything-At-Once Sport Called Kronum
Hickey went and checked out a new rec league for the fledgling sport-clusterfuck Kronum just outside of Philadelphia over the weekend. "Here's what I ask people," founder Bill Gibson tells the Metro. "Do you listen to your grandparents' music? Well, why are you playing your grandparents' sports?" [M...
Mark Sanchez's Childhood Best Friend, Now A Jet, Was Once A Horrible, Malevolent Teenager
On Saturday, the Jets drafted Scotty McKnight, a wide receiver from Colorado, in the seventh round, in large part because Mark Sanchez spoke highly of McKnight. The two have been friends since age 9....
Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....
And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....
Snapshot Of America: A Scene From The Philadelphia Crowd
Says reader Scott, who sent this in: "a red-faced, toothless whiskey tango of a Phillies fan taking a pack of Camels back from his kid is quite outstanding." Yes, yes he is. Click to enlarge for your full-size commemorative edition screengrab....
UFL To Conduct Player Draft On Twitter Tonight
You know one entity that was thrilled with the NFL lockout, nonplussed when a judge canceled it, and is probably glad that it's been reinstated? The UFL!...
Guy Who Is Not Even Suing Anyone Says Roger McDowell Made His Kid Cry
Roger McDowell is kind of a dick. You may have suspected this had you seen Gloria Allred's mildly erotic press conference last week. And you may have guessed it, too, when MLB suspended him yesterday for two weeks, without pay. But a few of you probably held reservations (because of Allred, because ...
On Steven Seagal And Lyoto Machida's Absurd Crane Kick Knockout Of Randy Couture
On Saturday night, Lyoto Machida landed a spectacular "Danielson" front kick to Randy Couture's jaw that dislodged a molar and sent Couture into retirement. Just as Anderson Silva did in February, when he knocked out Vitor Belfor with a similar kick, Machida credited Steven Seagal for helping him ...
Kings Have At Least One More Year Of Mediocre Basketball Ahead Of Them In Sacramento
"We're going to stay in Sacramento for another year," Kings co-owner George Maloof said today. "We appreciate [the fans'] loyalty to the franchise, and we're going to give Mayor [Kevin] Johnson another try to hopefully bring his vision to reality with a new arena." The vision had better include mone...
How ESPN Engineered Mark Ingram's Magic Moment
There was a very strange minute of television last week. After Ingram was drafted by New Orleans at No. 28 overall — the same position his father went in 1987 — Suzy Kolber presented/confronted the son with an email from the father....
In The Future, All Communications With Ohio State Will Be Via Billboard
It's always enjoyable to see OSU put their foot in their mouths, and it's even more fun to rub it in on the side of the highway. Hot on the heels of TCU's "Little Sisters of the Poor" billboards comes this simple-yet-effective taunt along I-94 in Michigan. [via]...
Future Robot Overlord Practices Snagging Human Skulls
On to the next war: the coming robot uprising. And — OH SHIT THEY CAN CATCH NOW....
If MLB Pulls This Video, They Hate America
Your morning roundup for May 2, the day Fox News kept being wrong....
Osama Bin Laden Is Dead, Professional Wrestler Declares In Most American Video Ever
And then John Cena holds up his championship belt, and "The Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing over the speakers. Everything about this is perfect, right down to the guy shouting, "We won." [via @SherwoodStrauss]...
Wrestler Could Have Gotten Away With Robbing A Bank If It Wasn't For His Meddling Fans
On the Combat Zone Wrestling field of battle, Nicholas Wilson went by the name of Nick Gage and his was best known for "his daring feats in the ring." Alas, grappling connoisseurs will go a half decade without seeing said daring feats unless they happen to be in a New Jersey state prison....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Master Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets coldly and effortlessly dismembered to send a message to anybody who thinks their money affords them the right to treat the legal syst...
A Canadian Ultimate Fighter's Head Resembled The Elephant Man By The Time UFC 129 Was Over
Those of you who are all into the UFC thing have probably already seen this. However, the grotesque deformity that became Mark "The Machine" Hominick's head during the featherweight-belt fight vs. Jose Aldo last night in Toronto is the type of thing that should be seen by the masses at dinnertime o...
Here's Video Of People Dancing To Sir Mix-A-Lot Outside A Braves Game
This footage of "Don Doing Work" while "tailgating at an Atlanta Braves game" gets a lot less annoying 2:10 in. This is because Don cedes the parking-lot circle to some fellow tailgaters, at least one of whom has clearly interpreted "Baby Got Back" in a variety of settings before....