a Page 8434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Prof. Splash Gets Tenure at University of Awesome's College of Kickass
Darren Taylor, a former strip club DJ, has catapulted to amazing heights in life, only so that he may jump from them into shallow pools of water. Now known as Professor Splash, broke his own record when he plunged from 35 feet, five inches into 12 inches of water in a padded kiddie pool....
The Mysteries of Boob Punching
Berman vs. Mangino: WHO YA GOT? [Machochip]...
Ladies Still Swarm The Swami
Busted Coverage got their bra-unfastening hand on a few photos of Chris Berman hugging up on some lovelies at the U.S. Open. The girl in the fuchsia (that is what that color is, right?) shirt would seem to be getting a little personal, until I tell you Berman had one of those glowing arc reactors ...
Stephen A.'s Career Never Too Dismal For Heckling
Stephen A. Smith's career has fallen on hard times. He's been demoted from draft analyst to pick interviewer. Rising commodity prices have pushed Cheez Doodles above $3.15 a pound. Fortunately, the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen was at this year's draft, as they were in '06 and '07, ...
Hooker Gives Herself A Happy Ending
A few commenters in the Marshawn post drew my attention to this lovely headline currently appearing on tWWL's site. It's funny because hookers only usually run from cops, Patrick Bateman and the angry pack of dogs on my estate. They're bred specifically for their hooker-killing prowess....
Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....
Marshawn Lynch Ordered Not To Get A Dashboard Hula Girl
Amid the treacly tributes to "Kitty Litter" Leitch yesterday (even ESPN The Magazine had one!!1!!EXCLAMATIONMARK!!), we missed the news that Marshawn Lynch copped to that whole hit-and-run thing that happened in May and as a result had his license suspended. Apparently he wasn't aware he hit anyone...
Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...
About Last Night
What you missed while abusing your new monkey rights......
One More Special Message To Go
• We noticed a slightly tangy flavor in Shaq's ass. • Stephen Jackson's therapeutic measures. • Look! We have video! • And ode to one ol friend. • And some others. • Fun with domestic violence. • Jay Mariotti could use some protection. • Zombie Kickball. • Good grief. • We'll always remembe...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Von Trapp children invade your dreams/say goodbye to Will ... • Arena football: Wild card playoffs, New York at Dallas (7:30 p.m., ET). I have Desperados Fever. (Help me) [ESPN] • Boxing: Super featherweights, Breidis Prescott vs. Juan Carlos Rodriguez, at Fort Lauderdale (10 p....
See You On Down That Road
I've never been one for tearful goodbyes. When I leave Deadspin, I want to go out the same way I came in; crawling through the ductwork. I was going to rob the place, and ended up staying for three years. Anyway, how do you say goodbye to a guy who took you in and gave you the only other key to the ...
Deadspin Classic: The Inevitable Evolution Of One William F. Leitch
In early 2001, I was middling through a job at Thomson Financial Media as managing editor of "Health Care Finance" magazine. It was a quarterly publication, which meant plenty of downtime. It was during these extended lulls, reading MediaBistro, that I stumbled upon the ongoing unemployment saga of ...
Say Hello To A-Rod's New Friends
A pretty outstanding tidbit that was missed in all the madness yesterday: You remember when the Brewers ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furries convention? Well, that happened again this week, in Pittsburgh, and guess what team ended up in the Pittsburgh hotel this time?...
Brook Lopez: 'I'm Going To Be Like Brady Quinn'
Brook Lopez, one half of the approximately 14 feet that is the Lopez twins, was considered the more-talented basketball brother at Stanford University this past season. Although possibly not the more mature. Witness his wit and wisdom during the NBA Draft, including the highly quotable: "This is so ...
We're Afraid, Dave. We're Afraid.
Look Dave, we can see you're really upset about this. We honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over....
Meet Your New Editor(s)
We were really hoping that, here on our last day, we'd have the opportunity to announce our successor at this here site. It is our pleasure - after quite a bit of back-and-forth and more qualified applicants that we could have possibly imagined - to say, yes, this here site is going to be in fine ha...
FUKUTHOME!
• This is a jersey we can get behind. [Home Run Derby] • Sorry, Fresno State: You're not George Mason. [George Mason Basketball] • A look at how top draft picks did in their first pro game. [Bus Leagues] • Maceo Baston is still around? Really? [The Sports Hernia] • Fun fight coming up this weekend. ...
Media Approval Ratings: Braylon Edwards
When will the blogs vs. mainstream media debate finally end? Hopefully soon, right? Please? Pretty please? There is perhaps only one man who can settle this once and for all, build that oft-mentioned bridge to the 21st Century. And that man is obviously Braylon Edwards....